Brath
by MelanthiaChase
Summary: This is a hypothetical exploration and expansion of events in the story "Fait Accompli".  Milla's life without Juice and Juice's life without Milla.
1. Never give all the heart

**I own nothing you recognize. All original characters and storylines are my own.**

**Author's note: **This story in an expansion of my earlier story _Fait Accompli_. The events are hypothetical and show how things would have been different if Milla had been allowed to go to Belfast to study instead of staying in Charming and falling hard and fast for Juice. I'm still working on Down the Road and my Supernatural crossovers but this would not leave my head. Milla dominates my muse and I'll write as long as I'm inspired.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Never give all the heart<strong>_

"_O never give the heart outright,_

_For they, for all smooth lips can say,_

_Have given their hearts up to the play._

_And who could play it well enough_

_If deaf and dumb and blind with love?_

_He that made this knows all the cost,_

_For he gave all his heart and lost. " - W.B. Yeats_

**Belfast**

He leaned against the wall of the flophouse, smoking his fag and watching the entrance. She'd be here soon and his mission would begin. He took his cell phone out again and refreshed his memory. She was a cute little thing with nice cheekbones a nice straight nose and dark chocolate eyes that blended well with black hair. He nodded to himself, this assignment wouldn't be so bad.

He had just finished his fag and lit another when he heard the sound of bikes riding in McGee came to a stop before Padraic stopped next to him with his assignment on the back. She got off the bike and handed him the helmet before she ran her fingers through her hair. She really was cute, didn't really have tits but he could work with it.

"Rafferty? That you?" McGee called out and Keegan nodded before he pushed himself off the wall and walked to the three of them, smiling when he saw the way the girl stared at him, oh yeah he would enjoy this.

"Yes, sir, just here to see about t'ings." The girls pupils dilated and he found his in. His accent made her wet.

"Where are my manners? Keegan Rafferty this is Milla Morrow, she's here studyin' for the year. She's Sons royalty." McGee puffed his chest and Keegan bit back a smirk. "Sons Royalty", aye that was nothing more than a beggar princess in a den of thieves. He was one of Jimmy's men, he made money. didn't need a leather vest to be a man. Despite his inner monologue he looked impressed and gave her his knicker-dropping smile, widening it as he saw her lips part slightly. Oh he really was going to enjoy this.

_Three Days Prior, True IRA Headquarters_

Keegan puffed on his cigarette as he sat behind Jimmy during the meeting. He was just an underling, there to add weight to Jimmy's presence. Someday he'd be sitting at that table though, he just had to bide his time.

"New order of business. We've got a bit of trouble with our friends in Charming, seems they want a more immediate guarantee on the shipments, they're a bit...hesitant to pay out without that guarantee. We need them to be patient to have trust...confidence in us." O'Flaherty said as the table nodded.

"Nothing is more important than family to Redwood, family ties and blood have always been their greatest weakness and we have been given a rare opportunity to exploit that weakness." Father Ashby said from the head of the table as a confused murmur started. "I was talking to my dear Maureen the other day and it appears that she has taken in a student as a boarder for the next year, as a favor to Redwood's President. Her name is Millicent Morrow and she is the daughter of Clay Morrow and Gemma Teller. She is our gateway to trust, gentlemen."

"How do you expect us to earn her trust, she was probably warned away by her Da and brainwashed by the Club. Hell, she was probably told evil stories by Filip, he's been over there long enough to indoctrinate." Jimmy protested and Father Ashby gave him a smile.

"She may have been brainwashed, yes, this is a distinct possibility but you give her too much credit. She is only a young woman after all and all young people can have their head turned by a pretty face." He looked squarely at Keegan and everyone's gaze followed his.

"Are you sayin' you want Rafferty to seduce the Redwood Pres' daughter?" Jimmy asked and a calculating smile graced his face before he turned to Keegan. "You think you could do that boy?"

"She's not a howler is she?" The last thing Keegan wanted was to be doing an ugly girl. In a pinch, after a night of drinking he'd gone home with his share of groaners but to actively go for one...he shuddered to think.

"Here is the file we've compiled." He handed it to Jimmy who handed it to Keegan. Keegan opened it with trepidation but was pleased to see that his fears were unfounded. She was a cute girl with a nice body. He'd actually spend time and money on a girl like her in the pub. This wouldn't be so bad.

"I'll do it." He handed the file back to Jimmy and looked to Father Ashby whose face was morphed into a smug smirk.

_Back to Present..._

Milla felt her eyes widen as she looked at the man in front of her. Rafferty? Yeah that sounded right. He was heart-breakingly gorgeous with longish, curly, black hair with a bit of scruff around his mouth and beautiful dark eyes. The only thing lacking in his appearance was his smile, it was a little thin with too-sharp teeth. She preferred a genuine smile, a large happy smile. A smile like Juice used to give her whenever he saw her... No she would not think of the prospect with the amazing smile who treated her like precious vase work. She was going to see the world goddamn it and here was the place to start. She held out her hand to the man who could only be described as devilishly handsome and he brought that hand to his lips. Maybe he was just what she needed to get her mind off the man she really wanted.

McGee stood watching the exchange in front of them that could only be described as a mating dance and felt sick to his stomach. Jimmy had told him to make the girl available to his man and he lived up to his end of the bargain but it didn't sit right with him. Clay was one of his oldest, most loyal friends and he was serving up his daughter like some sacrificial lamb. Clapping Padraic on the back he went into the house to see Maureen, if anyone could help ease his mind of this burden it would be his old lady.

**Charming**

Juice finished wiping down the bar top as he looked around. He was recently Patched but that meant nothing, he was still the butt of jokes and treated like the village idiot. He could deal with that though because now he _belonged_, he was one of the guys. Even if he still had to clean their messes.

"Hey Juicy, come 'ere." Tig called him over and Juice felt that old familiar loyalty that he always would to his sponsor, there was also an almost uncontrollable desire to adhere to his every command. Juice set down his cloth and walked over, sitting down in the proffered seat.

"Whaddya need?" He asked and Tig looked at Bobby who nodded.

"We were just wonderin' what crawled up your ass." He said as Bobby sighed at his language choice.

"Actually we were wondering what's wrong man. You're Patched, the ladies love the fresh meat and Clay's giving you more responsibility. You should be over the moon man, or at least not frowning over every little thing." Bobby took his shot and Juice just stared, he thought he was hiding the fact that he was miserable, thought he was hiding it well.

Bobby and Tig were right, all was not well in Juice's world, the previous three months had been some of his happiest and most depressing of his life. Milla had been home for the summer, even taking some time off to prepare for the transition to Ireland so he not only saw her every day but he worked with her in the clubhouse, in the garage office, everywhere and they had gotten close. She talked to him about everything and listened intently when he rambled. There was an almost-kiss the night of his Patch-in but he'd been dragged away by Clay before anything could happen. Clay...he respected his President, loved him like the family he was but resented the fuck out of him too. Juice knew that Milla cared for him but Clay, and Gemma he couldn't forget Gemma, had decided that she was too good for him and that stung.

"Nothing's wrong man, still getting used to everything changin'." He nodded and Bobby raised his eyebrows while Tig scoffed.

"Well get used to it sooner. This mopey shit isn't going to fly, we need you at your best. So man up and do what needs to be done." Tig looked in his eyes and Juice knew that he knew the reason for this. Sometimes Tig was a fucking psychic.

Juice nodded before he got up and went back to the bar. With a nod of his head the bartender took over and he went up to a tan, bleach blonde croweater. She was tall with orange skin from a fake tan and tits almost as big as his head. She was the opposite of the woman he really wanted.


	2. The Falling of the Leaves

**I own nothing you recognize. All original characters and storylines are my own.  
><strong>

_**The Falling of the Leaves**_

"_Autumn is over the long leaves that love us,_

_And over the mice in the barley sheaves;_

_Yellow the leaves of the rowan above us,_

_And yellow the wet wild-strawberry leaves._

_...  
><em>

_The hour of the waning of love has beset us,_

_And weary and worn are our sad souls now;_

_Let us part, ere the season of passion forget us,_

_With a kiss and a tear on thy drooping brow" -W.B. Yeats_

**...  
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**Belfast**

This assignment was turning to shite. Nowhere in the file did it say she was a virgin or that she was intent on holding onto it. If he would've known that he would've changed his game. Now winter was coming and he was far behind schedule. Soon it would be Christmas and she'd be going back to California for two weeks, back to the fool that was actually his biggest obstacle. Evry other thing that came out of her mouth was something about the him _Juice_ she called him. Said he was smart as they come but a fool in other ways. It was obvious he had captured her heart and Keegan couldn't have that, he needed her for himself. They needed her to gain SAMCRO loyalty and trust. He had to make her forget the bastard, it was his only hope.

He walked into the clubhouse to see her sitting with Trinity Ashby having a drink and the two of them were giggling and guffawing over something. She really was a beautiful thing, with her smooth skin, beautiful eyes and that petite body that he just wanted to fold up and carry with him. Damn! This is why it was turning to shite she was slowly becoming something other than a mission, an assignment and, he could admit to himself, getting to her was now a personal quest. He walked up to them, ignoring the way Trinity glared. She didn't like him, never had and the one drunken night they shared was a mistake they both wanted blotted from their histories.

"Oh Keegan, there you are. Trinny said you weren't coming tonight." She smiled at him as he sat down and he threw an arm around her before he drew her into a kiss. They may not have gotten to the actual sex but he did know how to make her scream and he could make her moan with a kiss.

"I'm here darlin', for you." He whispered once the kiss broke before he brought her into another kiss. Maybe he could have patience, as long as he claimed his prize.

**...  
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**Charming **

_Christmas Eve_

Milla couldn't breathe, she had to get out of there. The door...the door to the porch was open. She ran for it, narrowly avoiding a collision with Koz who'd come down from Tacoma to see his kiddo. Wisely he stayed out of her way. She made it to the railing and suddenly nausea overwhelmed her as she vomited in the bushes. How dare he! He brought a croweater to Christmas Eve dinner. This was for families, friends and he brought her. Did he think they missed the way her hands went into his pants or the way she licked his neck. Sickening! There were kids here! Her Elliedoll and Kenny didn't need to see that! She took a few deep breaths to calm herself before she turned around and standing there framed in the doorway was the source of her discomfort.

"I brought you some ginger ale. Koz said you might need it." Juice said helpfully as he presented it to her and she glared at him. He was well aware of the reason for her glare and secretly elated. If she got this mad about a _date_ it could only mean that she wanted him just as much as he wanted her.

"Did _she _touch it?" Milla asked as she looked at the offered beverage, unwilling to touch it if the croweater did, the thought of the woman was enough to turn her stomach again.

"No, Virginia didn't touch it. You should be nicer, she's becoming more of a fixture around here. We're spending a lot of time together." As soon as he said it he knew it was the wrong thing. He wanted to rile her, to force her to do something, tell him she loved him...anything to prove that she loved him and this thing wasn't one sided. Instead her walls shut tight and she looked at him with disdain.

"I hope the two of you are very happy together, it's rare for one of them to snatch up a Son. Especially when they're as old and used up as she is." Milla moved past him, being sure not to touch him as she went by and Juice cursed himself. He wanted her mad, wanted her to confess that she loved him, beg him to leave the croweater. Now she was hurt, disgusted and angry and there was nothing he could do to fix this. He was at fault here.

_Later..._

Milla picked up her phone and dialed the number she knew by heart. It was Christmas Day in Belfast by now and Keegan was probably with Jimmy, he was always with Jimmy. Milla shuddered as she thought of the stories she'd heard about Chibs and how he got his scars. Her stomach turned every time she saw Jimmy playing happy families with Fiona and Kerrianne. What kind of man robbed another man of his family...his fucking life? She shook her head to clear the thoughts, it didn't matter what she thought about Jimmy, he was Keegan's employer and mentor and she was a good girlfriend so she'd support his choices.

Girlfriend? Is that what she was? Technically yes, he took her out on the town, bought her gifts and they fooled around but she wasn't sure how she felt about him. There always seemed to be something else on his mind, in the periphery and she couldn't feel one hundred percent right about him. In fact, if things had gone differently tonight she had a completely different script for the call she was making. One that involved "it's not you, it's me" and the words "right", "true love" and "long distance". Unfortunately, Juice threw that away when he walked into the house with the used up skanky croweater on his arm. It was like he slapped her in the face. Donna had told her that Juice had been mopey, that he _loved _her and she fell for it. He must have gotten a hell of a laugh at her expense. Well she wasn't going to waste her time on fantasies anymore, not when she had an Irish Adonis waiting for her.

"Milla my love, Merry Christmas." Despite how hurt she still was she melted a bit at his brogue.

"Keegan, I'm ready." She didn't want to beat about the bush with pleasantires. She wanted the message clear and she let out a breath as soon as she heard him suck one in, yeah she could do this. "Once I get back to Ireland I...I want you to be my first."

Keegan almost dropped the phone. It really was Christmas, this was all he'd wanted that year and now it was happening. He'd even been a good boy and only gotten gobbled by the women who would "do anything for the cause" and his club girls, no sex from anyone. He'd earned this.

"You sure 'bout this Milla? I've been wantin' you a long time, I'm not sure I can hold back." He wanted her natural instincts to kick in. She was raised in the Club lifestyle, she had to know her place was to please men.

"I'm sure. My flight leaves here the second. Just give me some time to work through the jetlag." She was nervous, scared even but she had to do this, she couldn't wait around for a man who obviously didn't want her anymore.

"Anyt'ing for you darlin'. This call's probably costin' you a fortune so I'll let you go. I love you." He said those words and for the first time he wondered if he really did mean them.

"Love you too." She whispered, knowing she'd just told a lie to a Catholic on Christmas Day. There had to be a special place in hell for people like her.

**...**

**Belfast**

"It's finally going according to plan." Keegan said by way of greeting when he met Jimmy outside of his house where they were having Christmas dinner. "Somethin' happened in Charming, got her wantin' to prove something."

He blew into his hands before he reached in his pocket and got out his fingerless gloves. Once he put them on he felt better. It got bloody cold in winter.

"Then you help her prove it. If you can get her completely wrapped in you that'll show them just how much we can be trusted, it'll give us an even bigger piece of this." Keegan nodded, he wanted the money that came with the added trust and Jimmy's good graces. The "cause" meant nothing to Keegan. He was a Catholic only in that he called himself one but his loyalty was to Jimmy who picked him up out of the trash and gave him a home and this chance. That "bigger piece" would go a long way in securing both of the things Keegan desperately wanted.

"Like I said , somethin' happened in Charming and now I think the mission can go ahead as scheduled." Jimmy nodded, the boy was earnest, would do what he could for him so he patted him on the back and ushered him in the house where Fiona and the others were making the dinner. Soon enough the little princess would be joining them, one of their women and he chuckled. Keegan didn't realize just how long this game was gonna play out.

**...**

**Charming**

Juice sat on the couch in the main part of the clubhouse, beer in one hand and remote in the other. "Miracle on 34th Street", "It's a Wonderful Life", "A Christmas Story"...Jesus was anything good on? He growled as he threw the remote and got up to get something stronger from the bar. He should be at Gemma and Clay's bursting with happiness that he's finally with the woman he wants. Instead he fucked up and said the wrong thing so now he's here, alone. Even the croweaters had somewhere to go today, but not him. Christmas Eve was for the Club, they all got together at Clay and Gemma's and did it up with food, music, even presents but Christmas Day was for families and only a few stragglers ever made it to Clay and Gemma's table, last year he'd been one of the stragglers. But after his "stunt" last night he was _persona non grata_ at the Morrow household. It really was bad form to bring a croweater to Christmas Eve dinner, that wasn't just Milla's hurt talking.

Sighing he downed his shot and walked to the remote. He shut off the tv and walked to his computer. Last night he'd heard that Milla had a boyfriend in Belfast. It was news that set his teeth on edge but he'd been calm enough to get the name from a drunk and very concerned Kozik, Keegan Rafferty. He was one of Jimmy's men and that news didn't sit right with anyone and Juice decided to be proactive about it so he powered up his computer and started the background search. Soon Juice would know all there was to know about Keegan Rafferty.

**...**

**Belfast**

_Nine Days Later..._

They laid in the dark, naked and entwined, breathing heavily as their hearts calmed down. Keegan was grinning like the Cheshire Cat, it was better than he'd expected. She was tight as a mouse's ear and more responsive than he'd anticipated. There were some tears as he broke that barrier but for the most part she was curious about everything he did. He pulled her in tight, ready for another go. He had so much to teach her, so many different ways to make her feel but she pulled away and walked to his bathroom where she turned on the light and shut the door. Keegan paid it no mind, women did different things after sex and she probably needed to clean up. He thought about calling out to her, asking for a cloth but decided against it instead lighting up a fag and still grinning. He had claimed his prize.

In the bathroom Milla splashed water in her face and stared at herself in the mirror, her face was pale and her eyes too wide. Why? She looked like she was in shock but she didn't feel like it. She was a little sore, yes, but he didn't do anything she didn't want and while it did hurt a little he took his time and let her get used to him. Maybe the fact that it _happened _was enough to scare her senseless. Taking a deep breath she splashed water on her face again before she winced at a small, sharp pain deep inside her. Looking down she saw fluid she was unfamiliar with leaking down her legs and a realization hit her that made her grab the sink as her legs grew weak. They hadn't used a condom and she wasn't on the pill, she was also in a heavily Catholic country surrounded by clergy. If anything happened she'd be out of luck

Once the realization hit she found her way to the toilet and sat down. Nothing happened, that was what she was telling herself and it did the trick she calmed down. Tomorrow she'd have to ask Trinny how she got her birth control and hope that the University's insurance would cover it because there was no way she was having an "accident" she was too smart for that.


	3. A Prayer for My Daughter

_**I own nothing you recognize. All original characters and storylines are my own.**_

_**A Prayer for My Daughter**_

"_Considering that, all hatred driven hence,_

_The soul recovers radical innocence_

_And learns at last that it is self-delighting,_

_Self-appeasing, self-affrighting,_

_And that its own sweet will is Heaven's will;_

_She can, though every face should scowl_

_And every windy quarter howl_

_Or every bellows burst, be happy still."_ -W.B. Yeats

**Charming**

Clay stood outside of the clubhouse waiting for the truck with the shipment. He always checked it out himself, on his turf before he had the boys bring it to the warehouse. He took out his stogy and lit it up. This exchange was sure to be interesting, McKeavey let it be known that he wouldn't be alone on this one. He'd be with one of Jimmy's men and that caused Clay's hackles to rise. Not only had they been less timely in their shipments in recent months but they had the audacity to imply that they couldn't be trusted?

"They're just down the road. Retard just called." Tig said as he came to stand by his President. Something didn't feel right and Tig had learned to listen to that voice. You didn't survive in Mogadishu by ignoring the voices in your head.

Clay nodded and took a puff as they waited and a few minutes later the truck pulled up. He smiled as he saw all the drums but that smile faltered when Juice got out and was practically vibrating with anger. Clay didn't know what to do with the boy. When he'd started prospecting he was laid back and lighthearted, always smiling, then things changed and Clay knew why. He'd been a heartsick boy once, but he'd manned up and moved on. Juice didn't seem to even _want _to move on.

"Hey!" He called out as Juice moved from the bay toward the clubhouse.

"I need a drink!" Juice growled and Clay shook his head. The boy was spending too much time at the bar lately, had been since Christmas.

"You need to help with those drums!" He shouted and pointed while Juice nodded sharply and went to them while McKeavey got out of the cab followed by a tall, dark haired young man with a smirk on his lips. Clay recognized him from picture Milla had sent Gemma. No wonder Juice was pissed off, Clay held no illusions about Juice's feelings for his little girl.

"Clay!" McKeavey greeted as he hugged the Redwood President.

"Who's your friend?" Clay said and McKeavey's face turned. He didn't like his companion much, that was obvious.

"This...is Keegan Rafferty. He works for Jimmy, he just wanted to tag along, see the sights..." The other man, Keegan walked over and put out his hand.

"It's a pleasure to meet ya sir. Milla's told me a lot about you." Clay's smile turned to a snarl in a heartbeat and the boy looked appropriately nervous, especially when Clay gripped his hand with the express desire to crush it.

"Alright, let's go have a drink. Hammer out the details." Once Clay let go of his hand Keegan smiled and followed behind. The glint in Clay's eye had given Keegan all the information he needed. Clay was fiercely protective of his daughter and he could work with that.

…

Once Juice had finished with the barrels he decided against going in the clubhouse. He'd had enough of the smug Irish bastard who delighted in needling him. If he had to hear one more time about Keegan's girl he'd kill someone...ok he'd kill Keegan. He sat down at Gemma's computer, the ancient thing needed to be put out of its misery, and started organizing the work slips. It was a mindless task, something to keep him from busting into the clubhouse and doing something stupid. Just as he finished logging the first set of work slips the phone rang.

"Teller-Morrow Automotive." He said as he resumed typing. He could hear breathing on the other end but no one spoke yet. "May I help you?"

His brow furrowed and he was going to hang up when a voice he'd been longing to hear for one long horrible month spoke.

"Hi, Juice." Milla said and Juice felt his heart beat faster like it always did when she spoke to him.

"Hi Milla." He was silent, urging her to speak so he could hear her voice again.

"I guess Ma's not there." She said and he could just picture her shy little smile.

"She had a nail appointment. She's gonna be mad she missed the visitor." He kept his voice level but he wanted to growl as he thought about Keegan.

"He made it there safely? Dad and Jax didn't kill him yet?" She asked, her voice striking something deep in his chest.

"Last I saw he was still alive. They're in the clubhouse, I'm in the office." He wanted to keep her talking, needed to keep her talking.

"I'm sorry about Christmas Juice, really, it's your life and I shouldn't have presumed anything. I got mad over something stupid. I shouldn't have stopped talking to you." Juice couldn't see the look on her face but he knew her well enough to guess. She was sad, scared and a little sick. The silly girl thought she lost him.

"We all did stupid things at Christmas." He heard her sigh in relief and smiled. She missed him, that much was obvious.

"Are you...are you still with the croweater?" Juice knew that Milla knew her name but she was like her mother wouldn't give those girls an inch.

"I was never really with her Milla, she was just someone to keep my bed warm at night. I don't know why I paraded her around like that, she had no class." That comment caused Milla to giggle-snort and it was one of the best sounds Juice had ever heard.

"None at all...Want to IM me later, let me know how everything worked out with Keegan? He was nervous about meeting Daddy." Just like that his smile dropped, she wasn't his, she belonged to the bastard in the clubhouse. He moved the phone from his ear, took a deep breath then he answered her.

"I'll email you later, too late for IM. I miss you Milla." He said quietly, putting all of his love and affection for her in those four words.

"I miss you too. I've gotta go, Trinity wants my help unloading a box but I'll talk to you later. Bye Juice." She said quietly before she hung up. With a sigh Juice hung up his end and stared at the computer screen for a few seconds. She didn't hate him, cared about him even. That was such good news, such a relief. Why did his chest still burn?

…

In the clubhouse they were seated at one of the tables Keegan and McKeavey were nursing tall mugs of beer while Clay and the others had their customary bottles. Clay was eying Keegan and Keegan was looking around marveling at how, even across the sea, the clubhouses were nearly the same. They had the same look, the same feel, the same air even. Now he understood why Milla wanted to be in the SAMBEL clubhouse all the time, in it she was home.

"We need a little time and a little incentive for the next shipment." McKeavey said suddenly and Clay slowly turned his eyes from the Irish prettyboy.

"What do you mean by "incentive"?" Clay asked, though he had a very good idea.

"An extra hundred grand. Things are gettin tough, lost four of our brothers to a bomb last month, right around Christmas too." He and Keegan hung their heads for a moment before he continued. "We need to recoup those losses and build some goodwill with our new brothers."

Clay's lip lifted in a smirk. This asshole was serious but just as he was about to bust McKeavey's balls Keegan spoke up.

"Come on brother! A hundred grand? We should be payin' them to take this load off our hands. If anyt'ing we should be givin' them a discount." He looked at Clay and Jax who'd spent the entire meeting glaring at him. "A family discount."

Clay moved his focus to the younger man and eyed him again. He was young, a little too pretty but when you looked in his eyes you saw a cunning that almost overshadowed anything else. The boy was trying to prove something. Clay didn't know what but he was sure his daughter would be involved.

"How big of a discount?" McKeavey asked, his eyes slitted in anger.

"Jimmy says half the next shipment, free. For being so patient." He turned his eyes to Clay and gave a glance to Jax. "For being so loyal

"

…

Once the deal was struck Clay went into the chapel to think things over. He didn't like the sketchy Irish bastard. There was something about him that he just couldn't stomach, but at the same time he'd proven himself useful. Clay didn't know if it was because he loved Milla or just wanted to prove he'd do right by her but the boy had saved them _a lot _of money. So much money that he could overlook some things. So much money that he could encourage his daughter to keep this relationship going a little longer. As long as Milla kept Jimmy's man happy, he'd help keep the Club in the black.

With a smile Clay tapped the pocket of his cut, where he kept a picture of his girls. He'd spent his life protecting his baby girl, loving her and guiding her. Now she was helping him and as long as she was happy it was an arrangement he could deal with.

…

"Your Da's a right bastard." Keegan said into the phone as he edged toward the office. From the conversation he'd heard Clay having with blondie his target would be in there.

"What did you do? Dad's calm and collected unless you piss him off, so how'd you piss him off?" Milla asked and he smiled, he knew she'd defend her father to the death. His if he said the wrong thing.

"I think he knows I've been in your pants." It wasn't a lie. All throughout the meeting Her da and her brother had been giving him the same look, the "I know you've touched her" look and he'd be lying if he said it didn't unnerve him a little.

"I don't doubt it. Promise me you'll be careful and won't do anything stupid." He smirked, he'd already poked several bears, if that was the expression, but he'd try not to do anything to abuse the goodwill he'd engendered. He was so glad that McKeavey played his part so well, acted so boorish and greedy, it made Keegan look like a saint and that's what Jimmy and Father Ashby wanted.

"I promise you my lovely." He heard movement and saw a shadow near the window. The idiot savant was in there, it was time to poke one more bear. "I can't wait to be home to you. Been too long since I've been balls deep in ya."

It was crude but effective as he heard movement inside the office. It sounded like paper being crumpled and torn.

"Quiet, it's bad enough that they theorize but if you confirm it I can't help you. You don't want in that ring with any of them and if they think they're defending my honor...shit Keegan, I miss you too and I miss...that...but we'll talk about this later, when your balls aren't on the line." He chuckled, she was so cute sometimes.

"Speaking of balls, mine miss you too." He laughed at her exasperated huff.

"If you aren't going to take my warning seriously I'm hanging up. Be safe and I love you." He smiled, hearing her say those words and knowing she was trying to mean them never failed to bring a smile to his lips.

"I love you too my little bird. I'll see you in three days." She hung up before he did and he slipped the phone in his pocket. He had a new mission to complete.

…

Juice sat at the computer and composed himself. He wasn't stupid, despite the fact that everyone said he was. He understood people, well he understood motives, and he understood the basic concepts of interactions. You say or do x and get y in return. It was a standard exchange rate. Because he understood this, he knew why Keegan had planted himself outside the window to talk to Milla, he knew why Keegan was being so crude. Keegan felt threatened and had to assert his status in Milla's life. The thought would have made Juice happy, knowing that despite the problems Milla still cared about him enough that he was a threat but he wasn't happy. Now that it was confirmed at Keegan was screwing her he didn't know how to react since killing him would be bad for business and probably hurt Milla and he never wanted Milla to hurt. With a shake of his head he willed the thoughts away and went back to the computer, looking for some mindless task to complete.

"Hey there boyo. I was wonderin' why you weren't at the meetin." Juice looked up and saw that self-satisfied smirk on the Irishman's face.

"I thought it would be obvious, looks like I'm not the idiot for once." He stared at Keegan in challenge and was rewarded when the other had to look away first.

"Does it bother you that she's with me? That I'm the one tastin' her skin? I'll tell you she's sweet...all of her is sweet." That was it, Juice rose and advanced on him while Keegan stood his ground. "Go ahead, beat me if you want but how do you think that'll look to your President, when you lose this deal. How will it look to _Milla_?"

He whispered her name, like a taunt, like a dare and Juice backed off. This prick wanted to bait him, wanted him to do something unforgivable and he wouldn't do that. He wouldn't let this Irish bastard goad him into ruining his life. Instead he decided to lay down the law.

"I don't like you, that much is obvious and you obviously don't like me but that doesn't matter. I'm loyal to my Club and you're loyal to your cause. You also know I'm loyal to Milla. You asked if it bothered me that you touch her. Fuck yes it bothers me. My hands are itching to tear you apart right now but I won't do it. I won't do it because I'm a good soldier and a good man and I love one hell of a good woman. She may be with you right now and I'll suffer through that, I'll stand by and do nothing because she doesn't need that shit." He sat down at the desk and looked calmly at Keegan who obviously wasn't expecting this outcome. "I won't do anything now but know this. If you hurt her in any way, if she's less than happy with you I'll cross this country and that ocean and deal with you myself. There's nowhere you can go that I won't find you."

Keegan had to stop himself from swallowing the lump in his throat. This was the idiot, the jester, the fool that everyone spoke of as a simpleton but he wasn't really. This was a man with a purpose and that purpose was protecting the Club and woman he loved and Keegan didn't doubt for a second that he'd track him down and tear him limb from limb. Without turning his back on the bulkier man Keegan backed out the door and walked briskly to the clubhouse while Juice sat back in the chair and allowed himself a grin. He'd won this round and even though she was with Keegan now she'd have to come home eventually and when she did he'd be ready. He'd show her that she was the center of his world and she'd never even utter the name "Keegan" again.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> I hope you're all liking the story and I'll warn you that this is where my muse is gonna stay for a while. I love exploring these flawed, greedy, honorless people. I thought I'd let you know that I have a Photobucket album dedicated to _Brath_. From the moment I wrote _Fait Accompli _I've had this image of Keegan in my head and if you go to the account you can see him for yourself and also I was just looking up an actress that I love and they linked her to this other actress and when I saw her I gasped because it was like some deity entered my brain and took a snapshot of Milla. That being said you can have a peek at that snapshot yourself. I have a link in my profile so please check it out. I hope seeing the pictures of Milla doesn't ruin your reading of this story. Thank you all for reading and reviewing.


	4. The Pity of Love

**I own nothing your recognize. All original characters and storylines are my own.  
><strong>

_**The Pity of Love**_

"_A Pity beyond all telling_

_Is hid in the heart of love;_

_The folk who are buying and selling,_

_The clouds o their journey above,_

_The cold, wet winds ever blowing,_

_And the shadowy hazel grove_

_Where the mouse-grey waters are flowing_

_Threaten the head that I love" -W.B. Yeats_

**Belfast**

He rose and moved above her while she fought to find purchase on his sweat slicked back. Something had happened to make him this ravenous and she wasn't complaining. It's not like sex was ever dull or less than pleasurable with Keegan but sometimes he was distracted and now wasn't one of those times. He made sure his eyes had constant contact with hers or his mouth stayed on her skin. It was like he wanted her to know it was _him_ inside of her and not anyone else.

Ever since he'd returned from Charming and the errand Jimmy had sent him on he'd been possessive. Not in the creepy, abusive stalker way that Alex and Carmen, in the death throes of their relationship, had been. No he just wanted to be sure she was safe wherever she was and when there were parties in the clubhouse he was always at her side and he called her all the time. It was nice to know that she was so cared for.

"Love. You." He grunted as he came and Milla moaned as a flick of his thumb brought her over too. As he rolled to his side and gathered her in his arms she smiled. He did love her, there was no faking the look in his eyes and somehow, over the course of these many months, she'd fallen for him too. The thought made her frown as she thought of the other man she loved, the man she'd fallen for the moment he smiled at her. With a shake of her head she banished those thoughts. She'd come to terms with the fact that she'd always love Juice, there was a part of her heart that had a permanent "property of" stamp firmly in place.

"What are you thinking about little bird?" Keegan asked as he placed a small kiss to the back of her neck and wrapped his arms more firmly around her.

"Nothing really, just about how much I love you." She turned her head and was rewarded with a kiss.

"You're a bloody liar. What's going on in that pretty head of yours?" He asked as she melted into his embrace.

"Just thinking about my finals, the Yeats class was easy but Modern Irish Politics is killing me." He frowned, she was lying to him again but this time he wouldn't call her on it. He just held her as he thought about what finals meant. She'd be going home and he couldn't have that.

…

"We have to find a way to keep her here." Keegan said as he sat with Jimmy in his favorite corner booth at the pub.

"Well I'm just fine Keegan and yourself?" Keegan's face grew hot at the admonishment but he kept going.

"How are you Jimmy? I'm fine. There, done. Now we need to find a way to keep Milla here. _I _need to keep her here. Think about the recent developments with Charming, we're makin' a tidy profit and Redwood's none the wiser. It makes sense to keep her here, with us, leverage." Jimmy waved to the seat next to him and Keegan sat down, still full of fire. He studied the boy, he was chosen because he had a pretty face and was a charmer, at least that's what Jimmy thought but it wouldn't surprise him if Ashby had another reason for it. If the good father saw something in Keegan that even Jimmy, his mentor, couldn't see.

"What're you suggestin' we do here Keegan? If the girl wants to go, we have to let her go. Holding her hostage wouldn't look right. It would be an act of war." Jimmy poured him a shot and the boy downed it quickly.

"Burn her passport, put a flag on her, something...anyt'ing. I don't care what we have to do Jimmy, I don't want her gone, I want her here with me, not in Charming with _him_." Just like that Jimmy smiled. The boy really was in it for the long game. As much as he hated Kellan and his "holier than thou" bullshit, he had to admit that the man knew what he was doing. The boy had fallen hard for the little princess and that fit their plans perfectly.

"I think we need to pay a visit to Dr. Francis." Jimmy watched as the distressed look on Keegan's face turned to a smile, they had an understanding.

…

**Charming**

Gemma Teller-Morrow was a proud and strong woman, dangerous even. A woman many others would call a bitch and she revelled in it. She was fiercely loyal and fiercely protective of her children and one of her children was the reason she was walking into this god-forsaken studio. Lu had news, news her baby girl didn't want her privy to.

"Wow, you're hot." Gemma glanced over at a tall, Asian looking star and sneered at the compliment, but the sneer wasn't enough to deter the girl, "You could make a mint in the MILF market."

Gemma didn't say a word, she just breezed past her and stalked over to where Luann was sitting in front of a monitor while three chicks were going at it. As she approached Luann clapped and stood while the three girls broke apart and put on robes.

"Hey Gem." Luann greeted as she moved and kissed the Club Matriarch's cheek. "Let's go to my office."

Gemma just nodded and followed, the sooner she got the information out of Luann the better. Once in the office she sat down on the big, comfortable visitor's chair and Lu sat looking nervous like she always did when she knew something about Milla that Gemma didn't. Gemma wasn't above shooting the messenger...literally...

"Spill it. What's my baby doin' that would piss me or her Daddy off?" She took out a cigarette and lit it while Luann took a deep breath.

"She's getting an extension on her Visa, staying in Belfast for an indefinite period of time. Her words not mine." Luann said it quickly, her voice devolving into an almost shriek and Gemma took her cigarette out of her mouth, silently counted to ten, then spoke...calmly...

"She told you this?" Gemma looked murderous and Luann wanted to hide somewhere, preferably somewhere far away and hard to get to.

"She told me a lot of things." Luann knew it was stupid to put even more out there, but maybe more information would spare her some of the wrath.

"Tell me. All of it." Gemma brought her cigarette to her lips again and sat back, looking more regal than Luann had ever seen her before.

"While she's there she's living with that boy of hers, Keegan. If it works out she's going to see about citizenship, she even has a job lined up and she has a...doctor... that she sees regularly." Luann wouldn't look in Gemma's eyes, she didn't want to be turned to stone.

"I knew she was seeing a gyno Lu, you think she keeps _everything _from me?" The question caught Luann off guard. She knew for a fact that Milla only kept the things she was sure would hurt or enrage her mother from her. Otherwise everything else was divulged. However, nothing was kept from Luann. It's just how their relationship was.

"She wanted to be fixed in place before she told you. She doesn't want to get dragged home. I think this is good for her Gem, she's found a place where she fits, where she's not in anyone's shadow. She has friends and SAMBEL. I know she should have told you and Clay, I know that but please don't punish her by bringing her home." Luann pleaded and Gemma thought about it. This was big, a huge fucking subterfuge and Clay would be pissed, unless...

Gemma smiled grimly as she held out her hand toward Luann's office phone. Not knowing what else to do Luann handed it to her. She smirked as she dialed. Her daughter had started this deceitful little path and Gemma would end it and in the end all parties involved would get what they wanted.

…

**Belfast**

"Yes, Ma. I promise I'll do what you say. Dad will think this is his idea. I know I fucked up Ma. Ok, I'll come home for at least a week when I can manage. Ok, I love you Ma, really I do." Milla smiled as she talked to her Mom. When she'd answered the phone she'd been expecting Lu, so it was even more of a shock when her very angry mother was on the other end. Milla knew she'd been stupid when she went ahead with her plans without consulting her family first but more than stupid she was scared. She was scared she'd be torn from Keegan, torn from this country she'd adopted as her own, scared to go home and find Juice in the arms of another woman and that fear outweighed her good sense. With final "I love yous" they hung up and Milla placed the phone in her pocket as she went back into the store.

"What'd your Ma say?" Trinity asked as she stood behind the counter looking through receipts.

"I'm not getting dragged home. In fact she gave me a script to work with when talking to Daddy, he'll go along with it." Milla smiled and Trinity handed her a smaller stack of receipts.

"Help me go through those, the sooner we finish the sooner we can head over to the clubhouse. Ma's stayin' home tonight and I reckon it's time ta get in ta trouble." Trinity smiled as Milla's grin widened. Milla couldn't have explained why she liked Trinny as much as she did. The girl was her opposite in many ways. Trinny was hard drinking, hard partying, smoked like a chimney and if she liked a man he'd be in her bed without a second thought. Milla wasn't exactly shy but she wasn't as ballsy as Trinity was, she wasn't as rash and reactive. Milla was calm, collected and picked her battles she took her time to make decisions and always had a strategy for whatever situation she was in. Regardless of her lifestyle Trinity had found a place in Milla's life and despite her dislike of Keegan she wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

"Trinny I have a question." Trinity just raised her eyebrows and Milla took that as her cue to continue. "Are the pills you got from Dr. Francis colored differently than last month?"

Trinity considered her answer as she looked at Milla, there were two possible reasons for her pills being different. The first option was that they were fakes and Trinity wouldn't even entertain that. If they were fakes, that meant something was going on and Dr. Francis wasn't to be trusted. She decided to give Milla the second option. It had to be the second option.

"They're probably just from a different set than last month. Sometimes the color's a bit off." Milla sighed in relief and Trinity grinned an evil grin. "For someone so smart you're really thick when it comes to that shite."

Milla laughed and threw a cloth at Trinity grateful that it wasn't something really wrong. She'd demanded that Keegan where a condom every time they had sex but sometimes things got too hot too quickly and protection was the farthest thing from their minds. After Trinity grabbed the rag they finished the receipts and closed down the store. They had to get ready for their night, just the girls.

…

Jimmy sat down in the pew, the church was mostly deserted since mass had gotten out hours ago but the good father still made him wait. He just had to show his superiority but that was fine, Jimmy could wait. Luckily he didn't have to wait much longer as Ashby took the seat in front of him.

"What brings you my son?" Jimmy rolled his eyes, he wished the good father would can the "good father" act. It wasn't like he wasn't as much of a villain as the rest of them, they just didn't have collars to hide behind, or wield like sabers if it came to it.

"Keegan's ready for the long game. We had a _talk_ with Dr. Francis." Jimmy smiled at the memory of the fear in the doctor's eyes, "The little princess won't be goin' home any time soon if things take hold."

"This is good news, the bond with Redwood can only grow stronger. Are you certain Rafferty's ready for this?" Ashby asked in a voice that said he was testing Jimmy, that he already knew the answer.

"Aye, the boy's lovestruck. Never seen him want a woman for more than a night before. Thought we'd have to bribe him, pay him more to go along with this." Father Ashby chuckled to himself and the sound set Jimmy's teeth on edge. "Wha's so funny?"

"A boy like Keegan, who has never had a mother's love, a mother's patience will always gravitate toward a woman who nurtures." Jimmy was lost for a second so the good father continued. "Milla is the daughter of Gemma Teller, a more fierce mother I have never heard of. It stands to argue that some of that nurturing rubbed off on the girl. From what I've seen it has."

Jimmy chuckled, it all made sense now. The boy needed a mother and the girl needed someone to take care of, they were bound together from that need alone.

"I'll keep ya' posted. Good evenin' father." Jimmy rose and walked out. He had to find Keegan, make sure the boy really was ready for the long game because he had a new plan and he needed him on board.

…

**Tacoma**

Juice took a shot off the stomach of the croweater on the bar. She was pretty, young, still fresh and his for the taking and he was taking it. Even though he loved Milla he wasn't a fucking monk so when he had the chance to fuck something as young and sweet as the girl in front of him he would take it. Besides he couldn't thumb his nose at his Tacoma brothers' hospitality.

"Hey sweetheart, go to his room will ya. Gotta talk to my brother here." He looked at the SAMTAC SaA in irritation. The big blonde cockblock merely smiled and the girl nodded before she gave Juice a kiss then wandered to the dorm room reserved for guests.

"Come on man. Do you know how long it's been since I had a fresh one?" Juice was annoyed and got even more so when Koz simply chuckled.

"Come on, she's waiting for you. I have something I want you to do for me." Juice simply sighed and followed him to a table that cleared as soon as they approached. Koz sat and started the talk without preamble, "What do you know about Keegan Rafferty?"

"He's a bastard, literally and figuratively. He works for Jimmy O'Phelan as a runner and negotiator. Has been arrested for assault, robbery and was linked to several bombings around Belfast. Member of the True IRA, has a high school diploma but no higher education and is known as "Paddy Keegan", "Kel Rafferty", "Keegan O' Donnell" and simply "Blue". He's also been in an exclusive relationship with Millicent Gemma Morrow, associated with Sons of Anarchy MC, for eight months. That's how his Interpol file reads anyway." Koz nodded. He knew Juice would know the guy better than any of the others.

"That's good info, we have a job for you. We need you to stay on him, keep tabs, do whatever that techie shit is you do. One of our guys heard some shit when he was here with the McKeavey during that goodwill run a few months back. We all want to make sure we're on firm footing and personally I want to make sure Milla's safe. I think you want that too." Koz said the last softly and Juice just nodded. He wanted Milla safe and he wanted her home, with him.

"You know I'll do it man. Why didn't Clay say anything?" He asked and Koz took a deep breath.

"This shit all came out today. Rocky remembered what he heard and came to me and Hap since we're closest to Redwood. Don't worry, Milla's not in any danger, far as we could tell. It's just some duplicitous shit from the Irishman when he thought no one was around. Apparently whiskey loosens his tongue. Just be on the lookout for shit and keep him monitored." Juice nodded and Koz got up but before he walked away he placed a hand on Juice's shoulder. "If it makes you feel any better I was rooting for you the whole time. My kiddo needs someone who looks at her like you do."

Juice took a deep breath, suddenly not into the perky red head in his room. With determination he stood, went to the bedroom and after he shooed the croweater away he went to work. Rafferty wouldn't be able to sneeze without the club knowing about it.


	5. The Sorrow of Love

**I own nothing you recognize. All original characters and story lines are my own.**__

**Author's Note: **These chapters won't seem to stop. I have all of these ideas in my head so please keep reading and I'll try to stop churning them out so quickly and give you a chance to read them before I post another. Also, if you haven't seen my_ Brath _album please go to the link in my profile. Thank you all for reading and reviewing._**  
><strong>_

_**The Sorrow of Love**_

_The brawling of a sparrow in the eaves,_

_The brilliant moon and all the milky sky,_

_And all that famous harmony of leaves,_

_Had blotted out man's image and his cry._

_...  
><em>

_A girl arose that had red mournful lips_

_And seemed the greatness of the world in tears,_

_Doomed like Odysseus and the labouring ships_

_And proud as Priam murdered with his peers;_

_...  
><em>

_Arose, and on the instant clamorous eaves,_

_A climbing moon upon an empty sky,_

_And all that lamentation of the leaves,_

_Could but compose man's image and his cry.- W.B. Yeats_

**Charming**

"What have you found out?" Clay asked as he stood watching Juice's hands move over the keys.

"They're scamming us, plain and simple. Bobby gave me the ledgers from the last three months, since the "family" discount and I've looked through the notes I made about the shipments. While we've been spending less money we've also been getting less of the prime stock. So in reality they've been giving us secondary equipment for cherry prices. This wasn't so obvious since the stock worked perfectly but still..." As soon as Clay heard the news he picked up the nearest bottle and hurled it against the wall.

"How much time do we have before the next shipment?" Clay asked once he'd calmed himself down.

"Two weeks and Milla's coming with the shipment. What do you wanna do about that?" Juice had a secret hope that bringing Milla home would be a top priority.

"She's not going back with them. That's for damn sure." Juice smiled at the conviction in his voice and went to work, finding more holes and building up a good case.

...

**Belfast**

"Slow down, we're not in a famine." Keegan chuckled as Milla polished off her second helping of Fi's fish and chips, she felt like she was starving and she'd eaten a big lunch that day. Lately she'd been eating constantly, nothing seemed to fill her up anymore and Keegan noticed, so did Fiona and she was concerned for the girl she'd grown to care about. The girl who seemed to want to take care of everyone but had no need to be taken care of herself. Well, Fi would take care of her. She may have been Sons royalty but she was still a babe when it came to the IRA.

"Come on darlin', let's go to the kitchen. I've got some extra in there." Milla nodded and followed Fiona. When she first arrived she was terrified of the older woman and disgusted with her but over time she'd come to rely on the woman to show her the way of this new world but she still had moments of disgust when she thought about the past. Fi had left Chibs a man that, at one time, Milla would have given her left foot to be with and been a partner to _Jimmy_. God, Milla couldn't even think of Jimmy without bile rising in her throat. Well lately bile seemed to rise in her throat from any provocation. Once they were in the kitchen Fiona sat Milla at the counter and gave her a plate heaping with chips and fish.

"Thanks Fi." Milla said and was rewarded with a maternal smile before Fi sat on the chair next to her.

"How long have ya been feelin' like this lovey?" She asked as she wiped the sweat that had started on Milla's brow. That was another weird thing, she'd started sweating all the time.

"About three weeks, it comes and goes but it hasn't been bad enough to see a doctor about." She inhaled some more chips before Fiona stopped her hand.

"Ya need ta go ta the doctor lovey. I'll take ya tomorrow once the errands are done. Kerri's spendin' the day with Trinny anyway so we'll be fine." Milla looked skeptically at Fiona as Fi stopped herself from shaking her head. The poor child really didn't know.

...

**Charming**

Gemma stood in the attic bedroom trying to decide how best to decorate it. Milla would be home soon and she'd be staying. Gemma had already decided on a new lock that locked on the outside, she didn't want her to escape and she knew her little girl. Milla would fly if she was trapped. Her child had an excellent sense of self preservation.

"What're you doing up here Mama Bear?" Clay asked as he leaned against the doorway taking in the way his wife's quick eyes scanned everything in the room and the way her fingers unconsciously flexed as she made mental lists.

"Just checkin things out. You think we could get some prospect's from Rogue River and maybe Thief River here to do some painting. I think these red and black walls are too goth and Milla's not that girl anymore. Maybe a nice pale yellow, lilac. Something calming." He smiled, Gemma was all for her baby bird coming back to the nest.

"We should let Milla decide that, give her some kind of control in this. Who knows, maybe after next week she'll be more in the mood for the blacks and reds than anything else." Gemma's mouth pursed in a thin line as she considered his words. She conceded to his point, sometimes he knew Milla better than anyone else.

"Ok, we should make up a room for Juice for a few days. I have a feeling he'll be the only one able to talk her out of shit." Clay nodded. At first he didn't like how close the prospect was getting to his daughter, now he would have given anything to push her into his arms. At least that way she would've been home and they wouldn't have a war at their door.

…

"Donna, do you have a few minutes?" Milla could hear the kids in the background and didn't want to interrupt anything.

"What's wrong? I haven't heard you this dejected since Christmas." Donna said and Milla could hear some drawers opening and closing, she'd either caught her best friend at the best time or the worst time ever.

"If I tell you something you have to promise not to tell Mom or Dad or Jax or even Lu and you can't tell me that they don't approach you to snitch on me." That made Donna smile, she'd been approached more times than she could count to snitch on Milla.

"Milla, you know you can trust me. What's said here won't go further." Milla breathed out and took a deeper breath. She knew she could trust Donna but she needed the further reassurance.

"Ok, you know that I've been dating Keegan pretty much since I got here right." Donna made a sound of agreement and Milla continued, "Well we've been having sex since the New Year and we use protection, but...it didn't quite work."

Donna froze in her seat at the kitchen table. Did Milla just say what she thought she said? Milla, the smart girl, the responsible one, the cool head to her brother's hot one. _She _was pregnant. Donna thought about her next response carefully before she spoke.

"What are you going to do about it? You know you have options." Donna wanted her friend to go on and do something with her life. To live and grow and not let Charming, or Ireland, swallow her up. She didn't want her to wind up with a man who wound up in prison. She didn't want her friend to have her life, she wanted better for her.

"I told Keegan and he's a good Catholic boy. He won't even let me mention abortion. I don't know Donna, a baby's so big, and there's the chance it'll have the defect. Shit, all I know is that I'm scared." Donna could hear the tears in her voice and her heart broke. She'd never heard Milla so scared.

"Come home, we'll go to Dr. Nior, she's good and when I had all the problems when I was pregnant with Kenny she was a godsend. She'll go through everything with you, tell you everything you need to know. Are you sure about having this baby Milla? I know that Keegan is exercising his right but it's your body and he really has no say." Donna thought about the Irish man and glared, he should be shot for putting her in this position. Maybe it would be a good idea to go to Gemma, at least get the firepower.

"I love him Donna and he's so excited about being a father. When I told him he went out and I thought he was angry but when he came back he had a bag full of pregnancy books and bought some spinach from the grocery because he'd read a bit in the book that said it was good for the baby. I don't want him to hate me but I also don't want to bring another baby with a defect into the world. I don't want to be broken like Mom was after Tommy. I've heard the stories." Donna sighed, as much as she disliked the Irishman she couldn't deny that he sounded like a concerned father, an excited father.

"Just come home and we'll go to the doctor. No matter what you can rely on me. All I want is what's best for you it doesn't matter what that is." Donna could here a relieved sigh come from her friend's lips and she sat back. In a week she'd have to help with a lot of damage control.

...

**Belfast**

Jimmy sat at the council table, wondering why he'd been called in and expressly told to keep Keegan out. He had no idea what the boy did, he'd done everything they asked and then some. In fact things were going great and Redwood was none the wiser about the switch.

"Since we're all here let's begin. We've received some intel that Redwood's onto us. According to our man in SAMBEL, they've been askin a lot of questions about the stock. We need to stop this fire before it spreads gentlemen." O' Flaherty said and there was a murmur of agreement. "We need to arrange a scapegoat, someone to give to Clay and his men."

"I'm not givin' up my man. They may be onto us but he doesn't know a thing and now he's got a permanent in with Redwood." Everyone but Father Ashby looked at him with interest, "He's givin' the King another heir."

"When the bloody hell'd you hear 'bout this, why weren't we informed?" O' Flaherty asked, pissed off by the delay in the information.

"We found out middle o' last week. Fiona went with to confirm. We're gettin' a new soldier for the cause and Clay's gettin' a grandchild. We need Keegan, he still has a place in this and he can contain this fire. I just have to keep him ignorant about the stock and we need to send someone else with him and McKeavey, someone with the power to negotiate a long plan. The only way out of this is reassurances and a real discount. Redwood may be about family but they got the same lust for green as anyone else." Jimmy said as the rest considered the plan.

"We'll give McKeavey the proxy. He was aware of the shift in stock but he knows how to spin a tale. We'll use the Son's loyalty to our advantage, and their family values." Father Ashby said as the rest quieted down to consider. If the boy and McKeavey did their part they may be able to get out of this muck and mire and stop war from barreling down their door.

…

**Charming**

_A week later..._

Milla held her stomach as she stood at the gate at Oakland International Airport. The shipment had gone out a week prior as scheduled with Mr. McKeavey on it and a couple of Jimmy's other boys. She and Keegan flew to Oakland there since it was decided that the boat wasn't the best place for a woman in her condition and Keegan had had enough of boat travel during his last trip. Now they were just waiting for the T-M van to arrive and bring them to the clubhouse. She secretly hoped Juice would be driving, that way she'd get to spend a bit of time with him before the shit hit the fan.

"Everything good little bird? You're shakin'." Keegan put an arm around her and held her as they waited for the big black van to pick them up.

"I'm scared, Daddy's not going to like this and Mom's going to like it even less." She felt tears wet her cheeks and he turned her around and held her while she cried into his jacket.

"Maybe they won't like it and maybe they'll be ecstatic. We won't know until we tell them now come here lovey." He brought her mouth up to his and kissed her hard enough to make her knees go weak and that was how Juice found them when he pulled up a few seconds later, he always seemed to have the worst timing.

…

The ride to the clubhouse had been far more tense than Milla anticipated. Juice was quiet and kept shooting indecipherable looks at Keegan while Keegan nervously held Milla's hand from his seat in the back. He was doing the constant contact thing again and Milla couldn't help but wonder if he considered Juice a threat. She'd have to disavow him of that notion pretty quickly, Juice never even got the chance to be her past and now Keegan was permanently in her future.

"We're here." Juice said as they pulled into the familiar lot that had been a fixture her entire life. She knew every crack in the clubhouse's foundation and every fiber in the carpets but now the familiar space didn't hold the comfort it used to. There was a pool of dread in her stomach and she didn't want to get out of the van. She didn't want to face it.

"Come on little bird, let's go inside." She looked over and realized that she'd zoned out. There was Keegan at her door holding out his hand. With a deep breath she extended her hand to him and he took it as he helped her down. Once she was steady on her feet he placed a hand to the small of her back and led her to where Juice was waiting. As she passed him she almost stopped in her tracks. There was a look of longing so clear on his face that mere words would have been inadequate to describe it. She felt an urge to hold him but Keegan nudged her forward and Juice was out of her line of vision. Once inside two of the most important women in her life descended on her and she was dragged to a table near the bar while Juice said something to Keegan and the two walked toward the chapel while Milla's heart started to beat faster and the dread moved from her stomach to her very bones.

Suddenly Luann started a game of "1,000 questions" while Milla kept her eyes on the chapel. About fifteen minutes after she sat down there was the sound of flesh meeting flesh and a scream and Milla knew it was Keegan and before she knew what she was doing she was out of her chair and had burst through the chapel doors. There was Keegan his face bleeding and his arm dangling uselessly at his side while her father held him suspended against the wall. Her feet carried her forward as she ignored the voices imploring her to stop. She was running on adrenaline now as she wedged herself under her father's arms and placed herself between her father and the father of her unborn child.

"Stop!" She shouted and Clay loosened his grip unwilling to hurt his angel.

"You don't know what this scum did Milla. You can live without him." She heard a gun cock and her stomach cramped painfully.

"My baby can't!" She yelled and Clay let Keegan go while Keegan used his good arm to drape around Milla's waist. To the casual observer it looked like he was offering her reassurances but Juice saw it for what it really was. He was using her to shield himself.

"What?" Clay asked and Milla had tears pouring down her face.

"I don't know what he did but please don't do this. Don't take away the father of my baby. Don't take my husband away from me." She begged and pleaded and sobbed as the chapel grew silent.


	6. No Second Troy

**I don't own anything you recognize. All original characters and storylines are my own.**

_**No Second Troy**_

_Why should I blame her that she filled my days_

_With misery, or that she would of late_

_Have taught to ignorant men most violent ways,_

_Or hurled the little streets upon the great._

_Had they but courage equal to desire?_

_What could have made her peaceful with a mind_

_That nobleness made simple as a fire,_

_With beauty like a tightened bow, a kind_

_That is not natural in an age like this,_

_Being high and solitary and most stern?_

_Why, what could she have done, being what she is?_

_Was there another Troy for her to burn?- W.B. Yeats_

**Charming**

Juice stood in the corner of the exam room watching the pair intently behind his shaded eyes. According to the doctor's assessment Keegan only had a dislocated shoulder, a torn rotator cuff and the damage to his face was minimal. In chapel they'd come up with a story about him being an idiot and using equipment he didn't know how to use and Keegan went along with it. The bastard was lucky he wasn't dead.

After Milla had burst through the chapel doors everyone was at a loss. She'd just broken a huge fucking taboo and didn't stop there. Everyone was shocked into silence when she pleaded for the life of _the father of her baby_, shit Juice felt his eyes burn at the thought. She was having a baby and not only that she was married to this prick though Juice would have to talk to Chibs about it since Chibs said she couldn't possibly have gotten married in Ireland. When Juice saw Milla dab at Keegan's face before she kissed him he walked into the hallway, he didn't want to see that.

"How's everythin' in there?" Chibs asked and Juice started, he'd just been thinking about the Scotsman and it was like he'd materialized out of thin air.

"Dislocated shoulder, torn rotator cuff, some minor shit to his face. They did a scan of Milla because of the pain and she's fine...the baby's fine." Juice looked down and Chibs put his hand on the younger man's shoulder.

"Just because there's a baby it means nothin'. Anybody can be Daddy." With that Chibs gave him a sympathetic look before he walked into the room and Juice's brow furrowed in thought. Just what was Chibs getting at?

…

"Is that better?" Milla asked as she wiped some blood that had dripped from the cut at the corner of his mouth that didn't seem to want to clot.

"I swear I didn't know any'ting about it Milla. I just wanted them to trust me because you trust me. Tha's all." Milla smiled softly as she leaned up and kissed his cheek, finding an unmarked patch.

"I know, they'll go through what they have, talk to Mr. McKeavey and you'll be in the clear. I'm so sorry this happened baby." Keegan's mouth hitched up and he leaned down to press his forehead against hers.

"This wasn't on you or even the Club, this was on the council, they decided on this. I was just the scapegoat, I got the beating meant for them. I'm just lucky I'm not dead and I'm so lucky I have you." Milla felt tears in her eyes. He wasn't angry but she sure as hell was. She already had a healthy distrust for all things IRA and their splinter organizations and now the father of her baby was almost killed for their duplicity. From now on she'd have to keep her eyes open.

"You really pulled a number back there Tiny." Chibs said as Milla looked up sharply at the unexpected visitor. "Clay's ready to tear the world apart."

Milla hung her head. She knew that she'd done wrong on many different levels and the thought that she'd hurt her father made her sick. Also she'd broken the number one rule that had been pounded into her head since she was a child...she'd entered the chapel. Her father was within his rights to punish her in any way he saw fit.

"Keegan and I can take the earliest flight out of here. I'm ready for my exile." Milla took a deep breath and forced herself not to cry. She'd take her punishment with her head held high, she was a Morrow after all.

"Exile? No need to be so dramatic Tiny. Clay's pissed, about a lotta things but he'd never be angry enough to send you away. You're his angel. Him on the other hand." He pointed at Keegan, "I wouldn't be leavin him alone with your Dad...ever."

Keegan glared at the Scotsman. He knew all about him, all about his shifting loyalty. He'd been Jimmy's man once, then he turned. It didn't matter why. Keegan would never be like the bastard with the Glasgow smile. He'd be Jimmy's man to the death.

"What's going to happen Chibs?" She asked in a voice that reminded him of the sad, scared twelve year old he'd met all those years ago. Only then she was afraid for her father as he rotted in prison, now she was scared of her father and that would have broken Clay's heart.

"I don't have a clue but as soon as the doctor's done with your man there I've gotta take ya home. Yer Ma and Dad wanna have a talk." She nodded, she expected no less after the revelation that she wasn't going to be exiled. Chibs walked up to her and ran his hand over her head like he did when she was younger. It was the least he could do for his Tiny.

…

"Motherfucking son of a bitch!" Clay shouted as he gripped the back of the chair in the dining room. He wanted to break shit, to burn shit to hurt someone and that someone was a tall Irish cunt who had the audacity to knock up his baby.

"Feel better baby?" Gemma asked as she sat with the tip of the joint glowing brightly in the darkness of the room. "I hope you are because they'll be here soon and I'll be damned if you scare her away."

"I would _never_ hurt my angel. You fucking know that." He knew she was directing his rage onto herself, because she knew that he'd just as soon hurt her as cut off his own dick.

"I know that baby, but you'd hurt the Irishman and that would drive her out of here. I don't know about you but I wanna know my grandbaby." She took another drag and he sat down heavily in the chair he'd been manhandling. Grandbaby? Jesus his little girl was just a baby herself, "Good, stay there and think about this."

Gemma stood, tapped out her joint and went to the kitchen. They were going to have a long talk so some coffee was needed. Just as she started brewing the pot there was the noise she'd been expecting. The van was pulling in. She walked out and saw Clay deep in thought in the chair, his shoulders sunken as he tried to digest everything that had happened and her heart hurt for him. His baby girl had hurt him and it would take a while to heal.

"Ma." Milla said quietly as she stood in front of Keegan outside the door. She looked scared and upset and all Gemma wanted to do was take her daughter in her arms but she couldn't do that. She had to present a united front with Clay and she would.

"Come in and sit at the dining room table. We have a lot to talk about." Milla nodded and took Keegan's hand as they walked past Gemma. Once they were safely inside she nodded to Chibs who nodded back and got in the van. Clay had decided that one of the guys would be spending the night doing surveillance to keep an eye on Rafferty and Chibs volunteered.

Milla walked into the dining room and saw her father sitting there, looking dejected and she hated herself. How did things go downhill so quickly? She was supposed to be the levelheaded one.

"Daddy?" She whispered as she stopped in front of him and Keegan took a seat as far away from the man as he could. He may have understood what happened in the chapel but that didn't stop him from being terrified of the older, larger man.

"Baby." He reached up his arms and she sank into them. Gemma may have been able to resist the impulse to hold her little girl but Clay had never been able to. As upset as he was she was his baby girl and if she needed his arms for comfort she could have them.

"I'm so sorry Daddy." She whispered and he kissed her cheek. He knew she was sorry and he knew she wasn't completely responsible for this. At that thought he turned his eyes to Keegan in a glare. The boy had no idea how lucky he was to be alive, how lucky he was that Clay's angel loved him.

"I know you are darlin', sit down, we've gotta talk." She nodded and took the seat next to him while Keegan took her hand. His need for contact with her had become an almost corporeal thing.

"Coffee's almost ready!" Gemma called out from the kitchen and Milla had to resist an urge to flinch. When her mom went all Donna Reed that meant hell was about to be unleashed. They sat there for a few minutes while Clay silently thought things through and Keegean threaded and unthreaded his and Milla's fingers over and over again. He was rightfully nervous and Clay couldn't help but feel a bit of pleasure looking at the boy's face.

"Where's Jax? Shouldn't he be at this meeting?" Milla honestly wanted to know where her big brother was. His reaction was bound to be the loudest.

"Told him to stay put, we wanted this conversation to be calm and that's not in his wheelhouse." Milla had to resist the urge to smile. Jax was porbably pitching a fit right now because she was the center of drama for once and that thought killed the smile. She shouldn't have been here, she should have been smart and started using birth control at sixteen like Donna told her. Now she was paying for that idiocy.

Gemma came out of the kitchen and observed the scene in front of her. There was her husband, looking like the world had chewed him up and spit him out and next to his was their daughter, a combination of the best parts of both of them sharing a similar look of pain and rounding out the table was Keegan, the Irish lothario, the pretty boy who set this all into motion. She resisted the urge to snort at the boy. He had all the look of a coward, ready to bolt yet holding onto his woman for dear life. He'd never be a man.

"Coffee!" She said almost cheerfully as she set a mug in front of her husband first, then her place then Keegan. For Milla she placed a mug full of hot water on a little saucer with a bag settled on it. "It's tea sweetheart, coffee's no good for the baby."

At the mention of the baby their was a simultaneous flinch from everyone at the table and Gemma smirked. Good they were on the same page.

"How did this happen Milla? You're smart, too fucking smart for this shit to happen." Clay said it calmly but the damage was done, Milla's face crumpled.

"Don't blame her, things like this happen. The pills don't always work." Gemma raised her eyebrows as Keegan jumped to her daughter's defense. Maybe he wasn't as big of a pussy as she thought.

"I assume you're keeping it." There was some flicker in his eyes, he wanted this baby too. He wanted to be Papa Clay.

"Of course." Milla said quietly and Gemma heard a sad note in her voice. She hadn't always been sure.

"This what you really want?" Gemma gave her husband a loving look, he'd heard the same note of indecision in her voice.

"Yes, I want this baby. Keegan's already promised that he'll be there through the whole thing and I've got friends. I've got a great support system." Keegan took her hand and kissed it.

"She won't want for any'ting. I'll be there the whole way, givin her backrubs, makin' sure she's goin to the doctor. There's nothin' I wouldn't do for her." Clay looked at him and the look said more than words possibly could. He didn't trust Keegan to fulfill his end of the bargain. He didn't trust Keegan to even blow his nose properly.

"You're having the baby here." Clay announced and Milla looked at him in surprise and Gemma smiled. This was very good, very, very good.

"But Daddy, I'm going back to Ireland. Keegan's my husband." Keegan squeezed her hand tightly before he kissed it again. She knew what he meant by it. He wanted her to agree to whatever her father said.

"You may be goin' back to Ireland but I don't trust those quack doctors that can't even get the pill right. You're comin home, havin the baby here and that's final." As Milla thought about it it made sense. She loved Trinny and felt safe with Fi and Maureen wasn't so bad but if she was home she'd have her Mom, Donna, Lu and the guys would all be there. Her baby would know so much love when it came out that it would just fill up like a balloon, full to bursting and she wanted that for her baby, she wanted her baby to have the love she had when she was born.

"Ok Daddy, I'll have my baby here." Clay smiled wide and reached his hand out to his daughter who took it. They'd just made a deal and she'd be happy to live up to her end of it.

"Now let's talk about this marriage thing." Gemma said and Milla looked guiltily at Keegan who shrugged.

"Technically our marriage isn't legal. It takes three months for a marriage certificate to go through the proper channels in Ireland but as soon as Father Ashby heard about our situation and saw that we were really in love he married us." Keegan smiled at her and she felt her heart warm up. She really did love him so marriage wasn't as big of a leap as she thought it would be. Besides, she'd never have the crow so she needed to find some physical claim to her man and a wedding band was it.

"Ashby, the _consigliere_?" The wheels in Clay's head were turning. One of the big dogs, a fucking _consigliere_ had married them? Something about that didn't feel right and Clay shared a look with his queen. She got the same feeling.

"He's pretty high up, yeah but he's also all about helpin' couples in love and in trouble like us." He kissed Milla's hand again and Clay narrowed his eyes. He should have killed the boy in the chapel, everything here felt wrong.

"What are you gonna do about that? You gettin' it legal?" Clay asked and Milla looked at Keegan.

"Before you beat him to a pulp we were going to see about having a simple ceremony at the clubhouse, maybe a party. Now I figure you don't want him back there until whatever this is gets sorted." He smiled at his baby girl, she was always the smart one.

"You got that right. Consider yourself _persona non grata...boyo." _ He gave Keegan a sneering smile as the boy coughed. "Boyo" shit did Juice divulge their conversation months ago...no, he didn't because as soon as Clay would've heard what he said his balls would have been served to him on a silver platter. With a deep breath he met Clay's eyes and saw all the malice and ill intention in them. He'd never been more grateful for Milla than in that moment.

"Tomorrow we'll go to the courthouse, get a certificate then you can get married before you leave and we'll have a family dinner to celebrate." Clay looked at his wife in disbelief. She'd just essentially told them they were off scott-free. He was going to protest before she looked at him and he saw the wheels working in her head. The look made him relax...his queen had a plan.

"Thank you Mom." Milla got up and let go of Keegan's hand before she walked to her mother who accepted a kiss on the cheek and a hug. They parted and Milla hugged her father who couldn't help but hug her tightly in response.

"Don't make us regret this." Gemma said as she pointed at Keegan who shook his head fervently.

"No ma'am, no sir." The king and queen shared a smile as Milla helped Keegan up and they stood by the table.

"Ummm, can we still stay here tonight." Gemma smiled, no matter how mad they were their baby bird was always welcome back in the nest.

"You're bedroom in the attic's set up. There should be enough room to nurse his shoulder." Milla looked at her mother suspiciously. Something was up and she was terrified to find out what but she was also physically and emotionally exhausted so she'd ponder her mother's behavior in the morning. For now she had to nurse her wounded husband and make sure the door locked on the inside. She knew her mother too well.

Once they were gone and out of ear shot Clay turned to his wife and gave her a look full of questions while she merely smiled into her coffee cup. It may have seemed like things were over, but they were just beginning.

…

_The next day..._

Milla stood at the bay doors watching Juice working on the bike that had to be his. The last time she saw it it was the brilliant white that all prospect's bikes are before they're allowed the colors but now it's tank was black with the M-16 and scythe and the "Sons of Anarchy" with the club font. She grinned broadly as she saw the Ipod dock where the speedometer would go. The bike was so _Juice_ that he might as well have put his name on it. Her smile faltered a bit as her eyes moved over the bitch seat. What would it have been like to ride with him? To practically join her body with his as they dipped in turns and sped faster. She could almost feel the wind in her face and his abs under her hands. She had to get out of there but as soon as she turned he stopped her.

"Hey!" He called out and she turned around willing her face to appear cheerful.

"Hi Juice, umm, it's been so long since I've been to the garage. I missed seeing you all at work." She smiled and Juice wasn't buying it. He'd seen her as she watched him work. He'd seen the shadow over her face that was now behind her eyes. She couldn't hide things from him, he knew her too well.

"We miss you around here too. I guess you're not coming home then." His heart was breaking and she could see it. This wasn't the way it was supposed to be. He wasn't supposed to want her and she wasn't supposed to have this aching desire to lose herself in his smile.

"I have a new home. A family." She put her hand on her stomach and his face turned sad.

"Are you happy?" He asked suddenly and she nodded breaking a bit more of his heart. Hearing it was so much worse because he believed her. No matter how big of a dick Keegan was she was happy with him, but in the end it wasn't bad, not at all. "Good, I just want you happy."

She crossed the floor to where he stood and wrapped her arms around his waist while he held her. It felt so good but he knew it was fleeting. As she rose on tiptoe and kissed his cheek the last of his heart shattered.

"In a different world or a different life, I would be yours." She kissed him one last time and walked out, wiping her tears as she went, neither aware that they had an audience.


	7. The White Birds

**I own nothing you recognize. All original characters and storylines are my own**._**  
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_**The White Birds**_

_I would that we were, my beloved, white birds on the foam of the sea!_

_We tire of the flame of the meteor, before it can fade and flee;_

_And the flame of the blue star of twilight, hung low on the rim of the sky,_

_Has awakened in our hearts, my beloved, a sadness that may not die._

_..._

_A weariness comes from those dreamers, dew-dabbled, the lily and rose;_

_Ah, dream not of them, my beloved, the flame of the meteor that goes,_

_Or the flame of the blue star that lingers hung low in the fall of the dew:_

_For I would we were changed to white birds on the wandering foam: I and you!_

_..._

_I am haunted by numberless islands, and many a Danaan shore,_

_Where Time would surely forget us, and Sorrow come near us no more;_

_Soon far from the rose and the lily, and fret of the flames would we be,_

_Were we only white birds, my beloved, buoyed out on the foam of the sea!- W.B. Yeats_

**Charming**

As Gemma watched the exchange in the garage she felt a sensation she was becoming all too familiar with, doubt. Ever since she'd found out that Milla was staying in Ireland the doubt clawed at her, screeched at her. Did she do the right thing sending Milla away? Did she ruin Juice's life? Was she making the right decisions? All of those questions swirled in her head as she watched two hearts break at once and she cursed herself.

When she and Clay had decided to send Milla to Belfast it was just a temporary thing. She was going to see the world, see how much more dangerous it was than Charming, then she'd come home. Once she came back she'd be ready to fulfill her destiny, she'd be an Old Lady. The devastated man in the garage's Old Lady. She frowned as she thought about how her plans had backfired. She made Juice think she didn't want him with her daughter but that was a ruse. Clay may have had his doubts and vocalized them but she _knew_ Juice was the perfect man for her baby. She wanted him to fight for her, to work to earn his right to her and he'd done that. He'd proven that he was determined and that he truly loved Milla. The year apart was meant for him to prove that he'd earned his patch and his place in the Club, prospecting wasn't enough, not if he was going to be their daughter's man. He passed all those tests with flying colors. Christmas was supposed to be the turning point, she'd made sure the seeds were planted in Milla, that Milla knew how miserable he was without her. He was the first one Milla asked about when she picked her up from the airport and Gemma was secretly thrilled, things were working out as planned then the moron had to ruin it by bringing a croweater to dinner. Gemma's frown deepened as she remembered Milla crying herself to sleep that night, she was ready to take his balls, but he'd spent the next month punishing himself and now his folly resulted in the ultimate failure...He lost Milla. With a sigh she pushed herself off the wall and walked to the garage where Juice was standing, shell shocked by what had just happened. Even though Gemma didn't hear what was said she had a good idea from the look of pure, unadulterated pain on Juice's face and the tears that had poured down Milla's.

"Take the rest of the day off." She told him as soon as his attention was drawn to her. "We'll call it a mental health day. It looks like you need it."

Juice sighed, he knew what Gemma was doing and was grateful to her but her words proved that she didn't know him that well yet. If he were left alone he would brood, and even his ADD wouldn't kick in to take his mind off of this. He walked up to Gemma and stood as she placed a hand to his face.

"You were perfect for her." She said softly before she leaned down and kissed his cheek. With one last, sad look she turned and went after Milla. If there was any time she needed her mother it was now.

Juice stared after her. What was with these Morrow women and destroying him? With a shake of his head he walked out of the garage and into the clubhouse. He would be going back to work, but not until he'd had some tequila. He had a feeling Piney'd help him out with that.

…

Milla sat on the roof of the clubhouse, her tears had finally stopped and the tracks had dried on her face. She was banned from the clubhouse for a while because of what she'd done. Tig thought it was a fair enough punishment and she agreed, she was just glad they hadn't called for exile. As she sat and stared at a small crack in the ledge in front of her she heard the distinct noise of someone climbing. Great...she just wanted to be alone.

"Hey Millipede, I thought you'd be up here." She looked at her brother and took a deep breath, the yelling was about to start.

"Just yell at me and get it over with Jackson, I feel bad enough as it is." She brushed her hands over her pants and he sat beside her.

"Jackson? What did I do to deserve the full name treatment?" He reached over and pulled her into his arms. "You're really making me feel old squirt. Having a baby and marrying the baby daddy...shit, I didn't think this would be you. I thought I'd knock up some club slut first."

It made her giggle. She thought as much too.

"I don't know how this happened Jax. We were safe I took precautions. I feel so stupid." She buried her face in his shoulder and he ran a hand over her head.

"Stupid is one thing you're not darlin'. Accidents happen I just wish they wouldn't have happened with that guy. I love you Milla, but your taste in men sucks." She moved away from him and bit her lip. How could she possibly explain what Keegan meant to her?

"I love him Jax, you've only seen him as Jimmy's man but he's good to me and I know he'll be a good father to this baby." Jax simply nodded before he leaned down and kissed his sister's head.

"I know someone who would've been better." He kissed her head again and before she could speak he stood up. "If you need anything, call me and I'll do whatever I have to to help you. You're my little sister and that means protecting you is in the job description. Even if it's protecting you from yourself."

He walked away and went down the ladder while she blinked stupidly at him. Did everyone have the same goal for her? Did _anyone _want her happy? With a deep breath she stood up and squared her shoulders. She needed to find her husband-to-be and make sure he wasn't in an oil drum, and if he was heaven help the Son who put him there.

…

_Later...Bluebird Warehouse_...

"I swear to you Clay, we had no idea the stock was second tier. I swear on me mother's grave." McKeavey put his hand to his heart and Tig cocked his gun.

"Bullshit! I believe that pussy there didn't know about it, he's just O'Phelan's lap dog but you, you're the fucking intermediary!" Clay shouted and Keegan flinched from where he stood by McKeavey and was flanked by a large, scary fella they called Happy. He was the one that almost tore his arm off last night and Keegan was more than a bit scared of him, well of what he might do.

"We were informed that it was the right stuff. It looked a little sketchy, I'll agree to that but it shot perfectly and we were told the scuffs came from rough handlin'. I'm sorry Clay, I shoulda' been better prepared. Once we realized our mistake they decided ta' send me and Jimmy's boy. Thought with my twenty years and his tie to your daughter that you'd take us at face. We forgot how smart you are, how smart your men are. Where's the man that figured this out?" He and Keegan both looked around. After a long talk with his girl last night he'd come to the conclusion that Juice had figured it out. Juice was the reason he got beat on. He'd need club support to keep the ties tight, but if he could take out Juice he would. That man was a threat to the deal and his happiness.

"Had a problem with his fuel line that he had to take care of." Clay said before he stood up straighter and stared at the two of them, "We've reached a stumbling block here gentlemen. You have something we need but we don't trust ya and you need our continued business. Did your council think of a solution to this?"

"The next two shipments free, all prime stock then, once you have a tidy profit, we'll resume payments. This time with a real family discount. Seein' as how Rafferty really will be family by then." McKeavey said as Keegan smiled a genuine smile at the thought of marrying Milla while Clay snarled. He didn't want to be reminded of it, especially since he had no idea what Gemma had planned.

"Next three shipments, plus a special shipment of guns for the Club. We need new firepower." McKeavey nodded while Keegan stood rooted to the spot, not believing that they were really going to let this go. It looked like what Jimmy always taught him was right. Blood may run red but it was green that guided the hearts of men.

…

**Belfast**

"That was delicious my love. What do you say Kerri? Your ma just cooked us a lovely lunch." He looked upon his; for all intents and purposes, daughter and she looked up at her mother, still with a sad look on her face.

"Thanks ma. When's Milla comin' back, she promised she'd take me to the movies?" She asked and Jimmy suppressed a grin. Even his girl was in on it and she didn't even realize.

"Not for another week or so. Some things came up in Charmin'. Don't worry, she'll be back. She'd never break a promise to ya'." Fiona gave her daughter a motherly smile as the young girl put down her fork. "You go ta' your room darlin' I want all your clothes in the laundry before it's time for _Doctor Who_. You've gotta tell Milla all about it the next time she calls."

The young girl stood up, kissed her mother's cheek then walked around the table and gave Jimmy a hug before she dashed to her room. She was going to have to pay attention; she didn't want Milla to miss out on a thing.

"Have you heard from Keegan?" Fiona asked as she started cleaning off the table.

"Aye, he called earlier. Apparently Redwood didn't take too kindly to what was done. They gave him a good beatin' but Milla burst in and got between him and her da. Saved his life. She's comin' in quite handy." He sat back and saw a look of concern on Fiona's face, "What?"

"I just worry about the girl. She's got enough problems, what if somethin' sets off that heart o' hers or the baby. I just think maybe things have gone a bit far." Jimmy's eyes turned to slits and Fiona knew she was the one who went too far,

"Gone a bit far? We're fightin for our cause Fi. Nothin's too far! Now I'll forget yeh've said that if you call Milla later, convince her how much she's needed here. We don' want her thinkin' Charming's her home now, she belongs here." He sat back and Fiona simply nodded, the last thing she wanted was an exile. Even if it would bring her to Filip.

…

**Charming**

"Oh, this'll look so great on you baby." Milla looked up at her surrogate mother and couldn't keep the grin off her face. After she'd climbed down from the roof she got the shock of her life when Luann was standing there next to her 'vette with a huge grin on her face. Before Milla could even register what was happening she was in the 'vette with Lu tearing down the road and divulging everything to her favorite Auntie. It was worth the lashing she was going to get from her mother when they returned.

"You don't have to Lu, I don't need anything. Just having you here is enough." She walked up to her Lu and held her in her arms while Luann smiled and hugged her tight.

"I know I don't have to but I figure everyone's telling you what you've done wrong, and why, so much that you need someone in your corner. Now this is for your wedding night. I want your boy's eyes to pop out of his skull when he sees you." She smiled and Milla felt tears in her eyes as Lu saw them, "Oh honey. It'll be ok."

Milla held on for life as Lu held tighter.

"I love him so much Lu and I love this baby so much, but what if I'm making a mistake? Things have gone so fast Lu, too fast." She cried harder and Luann moved her to the seating by the mirror.

"Look at me." Milla moved away and Luann rubbed her thumbs over her cheeks, catching most of the run off. "If it's a mistake you live with it and learn from it baby. I can see it in your eyes that you love him and that's all that matters. Do you want to marry him? More than just that Catholic ceremony?"

"Yes, I want to be his wife." Milla nodded and took a deep breath while Luann took her hands in hers.

"If you want it, make it happen. I don't know this boy but talking about him makes you smile and talking about the baby makes you light up. How can this be bad if it makes my baby girl so happy?"

Milla smiled gratefully as Luann removed her hands from hers and picked up the negligee again.

"I think you'd look better in red. We should see what they have in green. Your boy is a leprechaun after all." Milla grinned at Lu's enthusiasm as she was dragged around the store and made to try on every bit of lingerie Lu picked out but she couldn't complain. Lu was giving her exactly what she needed.

…

_T-M _

Juice had just shrugged into his cut when the sound of shoes scuffing got his attention. Standing there at the doors was Keegan with his arm strapped to his chest and one eye swollen shut. Juice smirked, he may not have been able to inflict those injuries but he sure as hell enjoyed seeing them.

"I'm giving you on warnin' stay away from Milla. She's goin' ta be my wife and she's havin' my baby. You can talk to her; you can even hug her but no more o' those looks when you think she isn't lookin' and no more o' those texts. You had your chance and it's done. She's mine and I protect what's mine." Juice smirked; first Milla breaks his heart now the douche is practically begging him to break his face today just got better and better.

"Your woman beat you to it Irish. She let me know that she's yours and yeah I'll back off but that doesn't mean that I won't watch you fall because you will. A man like you can't keep hold of a woman like Milla and even with a baby she'll find a way home because that woman lives, breathes and bleeds this town and this Club and she loves me. I will back off, but I'll never stop loving her." Keegan looked at Juice while Juice stared back, they had an understanding but just as Keegan turned around Juice spoke. "No other woman's getting my crow though. That honor's reserved for her."

Keegan tensed but kept walking. He'd let Juice think he had a future with Milla or a future at all. Soon he'd find a way to get rid of the man and when he did he'd hold Milla while she cried, knowing no one else could ever come between them.


	8. He Wishes for the Cloths of Heaven

**I own nothing you recognize. All original character's and storylines are my own.**

_**He Wishes for the Cloths of Heaven**_

_Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,_

_Enwrought with golden and silver light,_

_The blue and the dim and the dark cloths_

_Of night and light and the half-light,_

_I would spread the cloths under your feet:_

_But I, being poor, have only my dreams;_

_I have spread my dreams under your feet;_

_Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.- W.B. Yeats _

**...**

**Charming**

"Bring her to the courthouse in about two hours. I'm going to spend some time with the spud sucker here. I won't kill him Luann but I'm not above maiming him. Just make sure my babygirl is happy when you bring her to the courthouse." Gemma hung up and walked out of the office, almost running into the very man she wanted to see.

"Sorry 'bout that Mrs. Morrow. I wanted ta see if ya could call me a cab. McKeavy's drinkin in a pub near here so I thought I'd show up an' we'd discuss details." Keegan said politely and Gemma gave him a smile that a shark would envy.

"Not just yet darlin'. I have plans for you this afternoon. You can speak to the sneaky Irish bastard later because right now you're comin' with me. Head on over to the Caddy." He nodded, knowing there was nothing else he could do and started to walk before a perfectly manicured hand rested on his shoulder. "One more thing darlin'. It's Gemma or Gem, no more of this Mrs. and Ma'am shit."

Keegan nodded and walked the rest of the way for Gemma. She smiled as he obediently stood by the passenger's side door and made him wait while she went through her purse. After a long moment she took out her keys and got in, waiting a few more seconds to unlock the doors while Keegan waited patiently. He knew she was on a power trip so he would show how unaffected her was by all of it. Once he was in he secured himself and they tore out of the lot. Gemma only had two hours and she wasn't going to waste them.

"Where are ya' takin' me?" Keegan asked as they drove past the Charming city limits and she gave him her trademark smirk.

"I thought we'd go do some shopping then meet up with Milla and Lu. You don't like bein around me Irish?" Her tone held a seriousness that brought him to attention and he realized that he must tread lightly.

"It's not that, I just don' know what you want from me." Her smirk returned as she looked at him. He was too soft, too pretty, definitely not man enough for her daughter but if he made Milla happy she could play along with this...for a while.

"You probably never will." She chuckled and they continued the ride in silence. Each contemplating what this meeting would hold.

…

The sweat was pouring down Juice's back as he mercilessly pounded the bag in front of him. He imagined the bag was a certain Irishman and that made his fists fly faster and hit harder than they ever had before. He was nearing exhaustion when he felt a pair of eyes on him and turned to see Clay. Great, first Milla broke his heart, then Gemma crushed it to a fine powder with her sad acceptance, now her husband was coming to finish the job.

"Lookin' good Juicy." He lit a stogie as Juice grabbed the bag to stop it from swinging. "Come over here, we need to talk."

Juice nodded and took off his sparring gloves and tossed them in the corner as he walked to where Clay was casually leaning against the wall. He leaned with him and just stared ahead.

"I know shit's pouring down on you son. Things are fucked up all around but I need you to keep your head. You're a Son now and that means that you have responsibilities, things to accomplish. Don't go down that spiral you're on the lip of now, stay with us and do your duty. This thing that's happening, it's just temporary. The life expectancy of one of those mick bastards...well let's just say growin' old isn't something most of 'em worry about." Juice raised an eyebrow and Clay smiled. "What I'm sayin' is man up, do your shit and wait it out. He's not going to be with her forever."

With that Clay clapped Juice on the shoulder and walked out, leaving Juice to think over what he said. He'd said the situation was temporary, to wait it out. Did that mean he wanted him with his baby? Did Clay just give his blessing? Juice snorted, today was just one big epic mindfuck and he was ready to check out. He'd go into the clubhouse and drown his sorrows in a fifth of jack and some blonde. Anything to forget this pain, even for a few seconds.

…

Gemma pulled into the lot of the shop, thankful that it was almost deserted. She wanted some time alone with the mick and this was going to be it. Once they were stopped he unbuckled and got out of the car. He wanted this over with, he had no idea what the queen of SAMCRO wanted but if her husband's reception were any indication it wasn't anything good,

"Come on, Wally's expecting us." Gemma stood by the doors and Keegan walked to her. She scoffed as he opened the door for her, acting every bit the gentleman. Once in the doors a small man with a pinched, worried face walked up to them and air kissed Gemma before giving Keegan an appraising look.

"Gemma, so good to see you. Are you here for more goldwork? Do I need to measure this man's finger?" He indicated Keegan and Gemma scoffed.

"Him? Does he look like he could wear the Reaper?" She asked before she leaned in to speak to Wally, "He's marryin' my babygirl. We need to get a ring."

Keegan started at that. A ring? What the bloody hell was she playing at. He and Milla had plain silver bands on their hands to symbolize the fact that in the eyes of god and his True IRA brethren they were married. He must have made a noise because Gemma looked at him coolly and he realized in that second that maybe Clay wasn't the only one to be wary of.

"What's wrong Irish? You think my daughter's not worth a ring?" He looked at her and tried to think of something that wouldn't lead to him being killed or injured.

"We already have rings Gemma. What's the purpose of another? It just seems frivolous." He shrugged his good shoulder and watched as Gemma squared hers. Instantly he knew he said the wrong thing especially when she grabbed his wrenched shoulder and pushed him deeper, into a more secluded part of the store.

"Listen to me now and listen good you smarmy Irish bastard. The only reason you're alive right now is Milla. That little girl loves you. I don't know why but she does and she's sacrificing everything to be with you. She's giving up her town, distancing herself from this club and leaving behind the man that she really loves, just to be with you. If it were up to me and her father we'd let Juice go to town on you but we won't because we love our daughter too much to see her hurt." She pressed his shoulder again for good measure. "It's because I love her that I brought you here today to make amends. You may just be some goddamn IRA errand boy but that girl's a fucking princess and she deserves to show it. That means you get her the biggest, shiniest stone you can afford so she can make a statement. You get me Irish?"

"Show me some rings." Keegan said as he blew a breath out his mouth. He was angry, bordering on livid but he knew the truth in Gemma's words. Milla was the reason he was still breathing and Milla was sacrificing a lot for him and if a little trinket would show her mother, and the Club, how serious he was then he'd suck it up and buy her one.

"Good, you do have a brain under all that hair. Come on, Wally has some new ones, emerald cut seems about right." She looped her arm with his good one and they walked away. Her plan was now firmly in motion, he knew his place and wouldn't step a toe out of line and if he did she'd have her baby home and in the arms of the man she was meant to be with. Until that day happened she'd make sure her baby was happy.

…

**Belfast**

Fiona held the phone in her hands and stared at it, afraid to dial, but even more afraid not to. She's meant what she'd said to Jimmy earlier. She was scared for the girl. Despite everything she had went through in the year she'd been in Belfast was still so innocent to the darkness in their lives and in no way cut out to be an IRA woman. She didn't have the multiple generations behind her that Fi and Maureen had or the upbringing that Trinity and Kerri had. She was raised in a world of outlaws, a family that loved and protected their own at the expense of their own life if required. She didn't have the right mindset to see the world she was going into. Yes they would sacrifice themselves for the cause but often they had to fend for themselves, fight, and Fiona wasn't sure Milla could do that if it were asked of her to be ruthless. According to Maureen the girl was too good, too kind and gentle to do what needed to be done, to kill if killing was needed. Yet Fi knew in her heart that the girl was strong and the kindness and compassion instilled within her were not the weaknesses Maureen said they were. She may not have quite understood just how dangerous this life was but she never shied away from Fi's guiding words. With a sigh Fiona hit the number, hoping that Milla wouldn't answer. Of course her prayers were unanswered.

"Hi Fi." Milla greeted as she answered her phone, knowing that Kerri used her cell to call her and Jimmy would call Keegan's phone.

"Hello Lovey, how's California. Bright and sunny I hope." Fi bit her lip. She wanted to tell Milla to stay there, where she was safe and among people she loved. The girl deserved that.

"Bright and way too hot. I guess I'm getting acclimated to the dreary Irish weather. How's Kerri? She owes me a recap of _Doctor Who_." Milla smiled as she set down her lemonade. Luann had taken her to her favorite seafood restaurant in Modesto and they were just finishing up the best shrimp Milla had ever eaten. The baby definitely approved of the menu.

"Kerri's great, misses you though. Have any idea when you're comin home?" Fiona put weight behind "home" she wanted to remind Milla that this was where her life was now, well Jimmy wanted her to and that was good enough.

"Tell her I'll be back next Sunday. We're taking care of some stuff here and I miss being with the Club. Listen, I'm having lunch with my Aunt Luann, so why don't you have Kerri call me tomorrow and she can fill me in on everything. I miss you guys." Fi felt herself smile. Her kindness definitely wasn't a weakness.

"We miss ya too Lovey. Enjoy your lunch and we'll be waitin for ya." Milla said her goodbyes and Fiona hung up. It wasn't as bad as she thought it would be but she still felt like a heel. With a deep breath she stood and put the phone in the cradle. She may have felt horrible but it was just another sacrifice to the cause.

…

**Charming**

Gemma pulled up to the courthouse, pleased with the events of the day. Keegan got an appropriately large ring, something women would be envious of and that would show Milla's status and she let him know how things were going to be with her daughter. Now she just had to see her daughter then she'd be able to write off the day as a success. Once they parked she looked up and saw Luann leaning against the 'vette with Milla. Her daughter was practically glowing and that made Gemma smile, Lu was always such a good little soldier. She'd asked for a happy Milla and now she had her.

"Perk up Irish. We don't want Milla to think you're unhappy." Keegan looked up and nodded. After spending two hours with this rattlesnake of a woman he really was happy to see Milla. He was also confused about how his woman turned out the way she did because Milla was the opposite of the woman who had threatened him in the jewelry store, and the angry violent man who led the Sons, he was grateful for that. He struggled but finally got out of the car and Milla ran to him, hugging his good side while Gemma took her spot and leaned against the door with Luann.

"How'd it go?" Gemma asked as she saw Keegan press his forehead against Milla's and whisper something that made Milla's smile turn tearful.

"Good, I got her some lingerie and some early maternity clothes. I have a feeling she can't get some of that stuff overseas. God Gem, she's not supposed to grow up. She's supposed to be our baby forever." At the "our" Gemma's eyebrows shot up but Luann countered with a look of her own. She'd helped raise Milla and she'd be damned if Gemma would take that away from her. With a brief tilt of her head Gemma conceded and Luann smiled, knowing that that was all the recognition she'd get.

"Irish there's a pussy. Nothing but a two-bit errand boy but he does love my baby and she is happy. I can put up with it but if he does anything..." Her eyes darkened and Luann nodded. She wasn't a violent person but if he hurt her baby she'd hurt him. It was as simple as that and one thing she and Gemma were in complete agreement on.

"Milla seems to trust him so I guess the only thing we can really do is watch and wait, see how things develop. He is a handsome thing. Not as sculpted and gorgeous as Juice, but a pretty good match." Gemma smirked, good Milla's Lu would be pointing her in the right direction. "Do you think he can protect her? That's what has me worried."

"If he doesn't he dies." Gemma said matter-of-factly and Lu nodded, she expected no less from the woman she admired who terrified her to her very bones. That was the end of their conversation as Milla walked up to them her hand in Keegan's.

"We're going to go get the certificate now. Thank you so much for this." She let go of Keegan's hand and hugged her mother who gave Keegan a cold look over her daughter's shoulder. He knew that look and stood still. No sudden movements or the snake would strike.

"Anything for you baby. You two hurry up, I wanna get you home and see what Luann bought you. She always has a good eye for your clothes." Milla grinned and kissed her mother's cheek before she moved to Luann's and kissed hers. She couldn't wait to show her mom the emerald negligee and robe set that Lu bought her. It was perfect for her night with her leprechaun.

..

_Saturday night one week later..._

Juice parked his bike in the driveway behind Bobby's and sat staring at Clay and Gemma's house. Tonight was the dinner to celebrate the great tragedy that had happened earlier that day. Milla was officially Millicent Gemma Rafferty and the thought made bile rise in his throat and the knife in his heart twist. She officially belonged to another man now, a smarmy, sleazy, untrustworthy man and Juice couldn't stand it. She was better than that, better than him. She belonged with someone strong, someone honorable, someone like hi- No! He wouldn't go down that road right now. With a sigh he moved his bike into position, he couldn't be here, couldn't celebrate this but just as he was going to kickstart the bike to life he saw Milla come out onto the porch and scan the driveway. As soon as she saw him she smiled wide and that was it. He put down his kickstand, removed his helmet and walked to the porch. For her he could endure anything even seeing her in the arms of another man.

Once he got to the porch Milla's smile turned shy and he wanted to fold her into his arms, tell her that he was the last person she should be shy around. Instead he held off knowing that if he took her in his arms he'd never let go, not knowing that she desperately wanted him to hold her, one last time.

"So you're married?" He asked, hoping she'd say that it was a big joke, all of it was a big joke and the baby in her belly was the result of some weird in vitro thing that he didn't know about. He wouldn't even be mad about it, as long as she stayed with him.

"Yup, I'm Millicent Gemma Rafferty now. God, I already miss being a Morrow." She sighed and he gave her a small, sad smile. He missed her being a Morrow too, at least until she became an Ortiz. "Come on in. Mom made an amazing meatloaf and those garlic potatoes I know you like. Bobby also made this lemon tart for dessert."

She reached out and took his hand like she had in the old days and his eyes were drawn to the rings on her finger. The silver band was simple and really did look like it belonged on her hand but the ring was this shiny, gaudy thing and looking at it gave him hope that he didn't have since the day in the garage. The Irishman didn't know her at all! He squeezed her fingers and she looked back at him, a wide smile forming on her face when she saw his. She didn't know what made him so happy but she was glad of it. The thought that she caused him pain made her sick. Still smiling they walked into the house, oblivious to the glare coming from the other guest of honor and the beaming smile on her mother's face,


	9. To an Isle in the Water

**I own nothing you recognize. All original characters and storylines are my own.**

_**To an Isle in the Water**_

_**...  
><strong>_

_Shy one, shy one,_

_Shy one of my heart,_

_She moves in the firelight_

_Pensively apart._

_...  
><em>

_She carries in the dishes,_

_And lays them in a row._

_To an isle in the water_

_With her would I go._

_...  
><em>

_She carries in the candles,_

_And lights the curtained room,_

_Shy in the doorway_

_And shy in the gloom;_

_...  
><em>

_And shy as a rabbit,_

_Helpful and shy._

_To an isle in the water_

_With her would I fly. -W.B. Yeats_

_...  
><em>

**Belfast**

"Thanks Paddy." Milla said as the young Son handed her the last of the dishes. Moving into the new house was stressful but thanks to McGee giving them use of the Sons as a housewarming gift and Jimmy's new "boys" they were getting everything done but Milla was still stressed beyond measure, especially with her due date drawing nearer than she thought possible.

"Not a problem lovey. Here, let me help you." He went up to Milla and took her hand as he helped her off the step stool. On the descent she stumbled and he caught her as her breath caught in her throat as her heart ached for home. The feel of his cut and the smell of the leather was so needed.

"Thanks again." She smiled wider and he let her go.

"Come on Paddy, we need ya to help set up the bedroom!" Liam called out and Milla felt her smile falter. She hated Liam, not just a dislike but a genuine hatred. The first time she met him he pinched her ass and treated her like a sweet butt before McGee informed him of who she was. Since then he tried to make it up to her but that level of disrespect would not be forgotten or forgiven.

"I've gotta go...help..." He said and she nodded before he took off. She liked Padraic a lot and he was a good Son, worthy of the patch and she liked that he was Chibs' family, having him around made the homesickness much more bearable.

She nodded to Padraic and sat down at the kitchen table. She had a massive headache and her ankles were sore. She remembered how much Donna loved being pregnant and couldn't wrap her head around it. How could anyone enjoy being exhausted all the time, bloated and with a constantly sore back and feet that ached? She growled internally, the sooner this baby was out the better. As she sat there thinking a bouquet of roses was set before her and she turned her head to see Keegan standing with a shit-eating grin on his face.

"Hello my love." She stood up and wrapped her arms around him as he pulled her as tightly as he could while being mindful of her swollen stomach.

"I missed you." She breathed and Keegan smiled. He'd been on an errand for Jimmy and had luckily missed most of the moving process, but Milla was there and he knew she'd take care of anything they needed.

"I missed you too. How's everyt'ing?" He looked around, pleased by the fact that there was no more unpacking in the kitchen, it was a woman's place anyway.

"Everything's going great. The downstairs area is unpacked, they're working upstairs now, but I told them to leave the nursery alone. That's for us to work on." She grinned and he smiled tightly. Things were getting real now, he was going to be a father. The little life inside of her that was making her fat and clingy was going to be real...Bloody hell he was going to need to go on another errand soon .

"That's great news little bird." He kissed her and she melted into him. Maybe things weren't so bad after all.

…

**Charming**

"No, The bed goes against the wall and the dresser on the opposite wall. Are you retarded? Chick, show him what I want." Gemma commanded and Chick hopped to, the new Thief River Prospect pleased to be part of this.

Clay smiled as he sidled up to his wife and wrapped his arms around her. She smiled and tilted her head for a kiss before they resumed watching the prospects get the guestroom ready for their babygirl.

"How's everything goin' here Mamabear?" He asked as he placed a kiss to her neck and she tilted her head to give him better access.

"Pretty good, the paint's the right shade of lilac, the bed's the right size in case the McBastard wants to visit and everything's almost set up. By the time Milla gets here everything will be perfect. You just need to sober the idiot up." Clay groaned at the thought. Since when did he become Juice's keeper? That's right he became his keeper the second Gemma decided they needed to keep him around for Milla.

"I'll put Chibs on it. He seems to be keeping a close eye on Juicy lately." He didn't need to say anymore, Gemma understood. The wounds they shared were achingly similar, of course they'd share their pain.

"Good, that boy needs that. At least he's still doing good work for the Club." Clay nodded against his wife's shoulder. If they could get the boy to sober up more often he'd be officer material, the boy was a genius with computers and tech bullshit. The cameras he'd installed were perfect for the lot and he was a master with them. There weren't any blank spots and he found a way to keep the feed going 24/7. Not to mention that the boy had a program that kept tabs on the financial info and roster of every charter the world over. Clay didn't understand it but the hard copy Juice printed for him was solid gold. He was definitely the kind of man Clay wanted as his intelligence officer, if he could just pull his shit together and focus. He sympathized with the boy's pain but he needed him to do his fucking job.

"When's Milla's flight comin' in?" He felt a smile ghost his face as he thought about his little girl coming home, even if it was just for a few months.

"Tuesday at three. I'm goin' to pick her up and we're meetin Lu and Donna for lunch. Kind of easing her back into the family a bit. Then we'll bring her home and that night it'll just be me, you, Milla and Jax for dinner. No skank invited." Gemma made a face as she thought of the skank that had infiltrated her world...Wendy... Jax may have been hellbent on marrying the whore but if Gemma could stop it she would.

"I'm good with that. So Irish is stayin' behind?" He liked the thought of that, if he could just stay away permanently things would be better.

"Yeah, he'll be here for about three weeks before the due date and two after the baby's born. Apparently he's moved up in the organization, needs to stick around. I'd be happier if he stayed away...permanently." He pulled his wife tighter, they always seemed to be on the same page where their angel was concerned.

"Me too Mama. As soon as you're done here meet me upstairs. I got somethin' I wanna show ya." She smiled and kissed his lips before he let go and went out the door. She looked after him, definitely interested in what he had to show her.

….

**Bellfast**

Milla stood at the foot of their bed unpacking Keegan's bag. He had to go to the pub to meet with Jimmy so that left her to finish his unpacking and make dinner. She sighed and wished she could go back to the shop but a Molotov cocktail through the window ensured she wouldn't be going back for a while. They thought she couldn't handle the shit they went though but in the eighteen months she'd been in Belfast she'd been shot at, had a car blow up less than a block away from her and been accosted by a "peeler" for protection "incentives." She had a fairly firm grasp of what life would be here and she'd come to accept it. It wasn't Charming and she fully understood that.

As she unfolded a pair of Keegan's jeans something pink and frilly fell out of the pocket and she knew what it was before she even picked it up but curiosity made her take that step. As she looked at the tiny thong in her hands her mouth set in a frown. He was fucking around on her... shouldn't she be devastated that her man was getting pussy on the side? She was more concerned by her lack of worry. She loved him, she truly did but the last few months had been far from the honeymoon period. They were lucky to fuck once or twice a week and she knew it was because she was gaining weight. Her increased heart medication made it so she swelled more than usual and she couldn't seem to stop eating. She'd seen the look of disgust in Keegan's eyes and, while it hurt, she accepted that he didn't find her as attractive anymore. With a sigh she sat on the bed and looked at the panties. She could let him have his fun, go on his "runs" but he better not bring that shit home and she was going to lay down the law with him. He may not have been Club but if he was going to do this shit he was going to follow Club rules.

She put the panties back in his pocket and finished. While she folded her mind wandered to the other man in her heart like it always seemed to lately, and she thought about how she'd feel if she found panties in his cut or jeans... She'd kill him, or track down the whore who dared touch her man and take the toll for the betrayal out of her hide. She may have been raised in the Club, proud of her place and understanding of the world but she knew that she couldn't turn a blind eye to runs. If _anything_ happened with Juice on a run it would destroy her and with this thought she buried her face in her hands. Her husband's infidelity didn't phase her but Juice's phantom betrayal tore her up inside. She was so fucking fucked it wasn't even funny. With a deep breath she removed her face from her hands, squared her shoulders and resumed unpacking her _husband's _bag. She loved him with all her heart, except for the piece that would always belong to Juice, and maybe if she kept repeating it she'd start to believe it.

…

**Charming**

Juice grunted as he came and the croweater under him gave the prerequisite moans and groans, writhing as she pretended to cum. Juice wanted to tell her to save the theatrics. He didn't need them and didn't care. She'd served her purpose and the pain had ebbed a little. Once he rolled off her he reached onto the nightstand and grabbed his pack of cigarettes and lighter. As he lit up the croweater curled onto his chest and he toyed with the thought of kicking her out but her hair was the right shade of black and she was just petite enough that he could pretend. At least for tonight...

…

**Belfast**

_Belfast International Airport two days later..._

"I'll miss you too Kerri." Milla hugged Kerri tight as the girl refused to let go.

"Stay, I'll help ya with the baby. Do anythin' ya need." Milla smiled and kissed her head.

"I need you to stay here and call me every week. Let me know what's going on at school and, as much as I hate them, Jedward. I know you love those fools." Kerri smiled and let go. She could do that for Milla. Fi came up next and hugged her tightly.

"You be safe. I know yer goin home to yer family but I want you comin back to us. I don't think Keegan would survive any longer without ya." Milla smiled and kissed her cheek before Trinity came over and hugged her so tightly that she was sure a bone somewhere was broken.

"Yer comin' back to me, ya hear. I've no one else who knows me like you do. No one else can pull my arse outta shite like you. I'm not sure I can make it so long without ya." Milla smiled and kissed her cheek before she pressed her forehead against Trinny's.

"You survived eighteen years without me babe and you'll survive four months. Promise me you'll take care of yourself and your Mom. Ok?" Trinity nodded and Milla kissed her forehead. "Good, also promise me you'll look before you leap. You know what I mean."

Trinny nodded as tears poured down her cheeks and Milla kissed her forehead. Then she moved onto what would be her hardest goodbye. As Keegan pulled her close he kissed her with everything he had. Despite the fact that things had cooled down between them and he didn't want her as much as he used to he was going to miss everything about her until he made his way to Charming. He was going to miss the way her eyes and nose crinkled as she smiled, her cooking, the way that she fit into his side even with the baby bump. Above all he was going to miss her quiet "I love yous".

"I'm goin' ta go crazy without you." He whispered as he pressed his forehead against hers.

"You'll be fine. I love you so much." She kissed him again and he pulled her closer.

"I love you and I love the little one. Be safe until I get there." He took her hands in his and kissed them while tears rolled down her cheeks. She really would miss him.

"We will be. Call me every day or as often as you can. I miss you already." He smiled and kissed her one more time before she broke away and walked toward the security area. She looked back and took a deep breath, she was just leaving one home for another, she could do this.

**Charming**

Milla sat in the living room exhausted, bloated and cranky. She'd been home two months and some change and was dreading going back to Ireland. As much as she loved the Emerald Isle and her makeshift family, her home was Charming. She lived for the small town that she knew so well and her life would always be intimately tied to the Club. Besides Charming had Donna, Lu and the guys. Yes the Reaper was in Belfast but she had crows flying through her veins. As she sipped her water the doorbell rang and she geared up to call her mother to answer the door when she remembered she was home alone. Shit, she'd have to get up. With a deep breath and grunt of effort she rose and walked to the door. Her bad mood did a one eighty as she saw Juice on the other side.

"Hey." She said shyly as she opened the door and Juice gave her a smile. During the time she'd been home they'd completely ignored the conversation they'd had in the garage all those months ago and grown as close as they'd been before she left for Belfast. He saw her every day and was always there to do whatever she needed. He also made her feel beautiful for the first time in forever, never missing an opportunity to compliment her appearance or look her over. She knew she should've stopped it, reminded him that she was married but the attention felt too good and she was starved for it.

"Hey gorgeous. I had a few hours, wanted to see if you wanted to hang out for a little while." He smiled and looked her over. Even with her bloated face, swollen ankles and added weight she was absolutely gorgeous. The way her skin glowed and her eyes sparkled just drew him in. Above that she was just Milla, _his _Milla, and he could play at that until the mick bastard came back. He almost scoffed at the thought of Keegan. For someone who didn't trust him with his woman he certainly left her open to his attention. Luckily for Keegan Juice had honor and wouldn't do anything...unless Milla made the step first...

"Sure, I'll warn you though. I have very sore feet and that makes me grumpy." She smiled and took his hand as she led him to the couch. "What do you want to watch?"

"I brought _Highlander_, I know you never get sick of it." She smiled and he took it as his cue. Once he put it in he settled on the couch next to Milla and while she was absorbed in Freddy Mercury's declaration that they were Princes of the Universe he took her foot and settled it in his lap, giving it a rub.

"That feels really good but...Juice..." She didn't get to finish, he hit a sore spot and worked it out, causing her to moan. It had been three and a half months since she'd gotten laid and that bit of pleasure was amplified by her need.

Juice had to stop himself from getting hard at her moan. If she could sound like that from a footrub, he tried not to imagine how she'd sound if he used his mouth on her, or his dick... Shit he was fighting a losing battle and when he looked at Milla he saw that her eyes were a bit wide and she licked her lips as she moved her foot from his lap and crawled toward him. He was frozen in place as she knelt next to him on the couch, running one hand over his mohawk and the other along his jaw. He held his ground, no matter how much he wanted to press her to the couch and take her he wouldn't do that, he wouldn't take that step. Milla inched closer, her eyes never leaving his and their breathing speeding up in unison. What was happening was an inevitability, but they were both scared by it, overwhelmed by the need coursing in their veins. Milla was running on instinct as she kept moving closer. Soon her lips were a fraction from his and it took every ounce of willpower he had not to cross that distance, not to claim what he knew was his. Right before their lips met Milla let out a cry of pain and grabbed her midsection. It broke Juice out of his trance .

"Milla, babe, you alright?" He asked as he gathered her in his arms. She was still doubled over in pain but he noticed that one of her hands had moved underneath her and she was bringing it back up. She looked at it and they both remained rooted to the spot before she looked up at him with too wide eyes.

"My water just broke. I think I'm in labor." She said it quietly but Juice nodded. She was in labor and he'd be the one to get her to the hospital.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> Sorry for the tease but it just felt so right. Anyway, I want to give credit where credit is due and that means giving the appropriate credit to **Verda Napoli**. In her review she used the term "McBastard" and it was too good, too _Gemma_, for me to ignore so thank you **Verda**. Be expecting a few more chapters of this story before I move on to a new story set in this alternate universe. I've decided that this story will branch into a trilogy covering the events of the show. Let me know what you think and as always thanks for reading and reviewing.


	10. The Choice

**I own nothing you recognize. All original characters and storylines are my own.**

_**...**_

_**The Choice**_

...

_The intellect of man is forced to choose_

_perfection of the life, or of the work,_

_And if it take the second must refuse_

_A heavenly mansion, raging in the dark._

_When all that story's finished, what's the news?_

_In luck or out the toil has left its mark:_

_That old perplexity an empty purse,_

_Or the day's vanity, the night's remorse. -W.B. Yeats_

…

**Charming**

Keegan tore through the halls of St. Thomas looking for his wife. He was nervous but more than that he was angry. He'd missed the birth of his son by two days, two fucking days and in that time who knows what lies her family had spread about him. As he turned a corner he saw that all familiar patch "Sons of Anarchy" "Tacoma" but he wasn't familiar with the Son wearing it. Regardless he barreled through and the tall blonde caught him.

"Whoa there Irish. Mama's sleeping and her guard dog's on alert." Keegan looked at the man in confusion before he was guided to the door. He was already angry but the sight he saw through the window brought him to a new height of rage even his Irish temper didn't recognize. "Ease up, he's been there for two days. Hasn't left her side. Like a pitbull. If you go in there like this he's liable to snap and that's the last thing Milla needs.

Fuck Milla, Keegan thought. He wanted to get to his son and push the Puerto Rican out the door and away from _his _family. He tried to push forward but the blonde held him in place.

"I told you to stop...so stop!" He stopped in his tracks and glared at the blonde who simply studied him. "So you're Milla's guy...I thought she stopped dating women."

"Who the bloody, fucking hell are you?" Keegan asked and the blonde let go of him, only to walk him to a chair next to where an old guy with an oxygen tank was sleeping.

"My name's Koz, I'm sure my kiddo's mentioned me." Keegan nodded. He did remember a Koz or Kozik, one of Milla's most loved and trusted people in the world. She loved him as much as she loved her brother or that Opie fella that she visited in Chino.

"She's mentioned you. I deserve to go see my son." Keegan was proud of himself, he didn't yell, didn't attack the biker. He just let it roll off his back.

"You will, I'll let you go but Milla needs her rest. Don't worry, Juice's got things pretty well handled in there." Keegan ground his teeth. That was what he was worried about.

…

Juice sat in the chair by Milla's bed holding the world's tiniest cockblock. He chuckled, the little boy saved his mama from a lifetime of guilt. Even though Juice knew that Milla loved him, belonged with him, he also knew that she was loyal to a fault and would never forgive herself if things had progressed. He stared at the baby, memorizing his little nose, those little lips and the brow that marked his Morrow heritage. Juice may have been biased but he thought that the little boy looked like his Mama and that made him beautiful.

"Hey." He turned his eyes from the baby and saw Milla awake her eyes at half mast with the exhaustion. Even though she looked like she'd been hit by a Mack truck Juice would swear, in court even, that he'd never seen anything as beautiful as her.

"Hey, the doc said you should rest. Don't worry I've got Little Clay." They shared a smile at the name she'd given her son. It was tradition in the family to give the kid the first name of the grandfather or grandmother and the middle name was the father or mother. Milla broke tradition when naming her son, for some reason giving him Keegan's name didn't feel right and her dad was more than fine with the tradition being broken. Instead she named her son Clarence Harry Rafferty. Clarence after her father and arguably the most important man in her life and Harry after the big brother she missed so much but also Keegan's favorite uncle who provided the only positive male presence he had in his life growing up.

"You're really good with him." Milla said softly and Juice beamed.

"It's easy when you love the little guy." Milla smiled softly and held out a hand. After shifting Little Clay in his arms he took her hand and kissed it. The Irishman was supposed to be there any minute but for now he could enjoy just being here, he could imagine this was his family.

…

Gemma walked with purpose down the hallway. The McBastard had escaped. He was supposed to wait at the airport but the overly friendly gate worker had informed her that the handsome charmer with the great accent had taken a cab. The meant that he had beaten her by at least half an hour and that pissed her off. She wanted to give Milla and Juice some more time alone to let nature take it's course. Juice had already proven that he cared more about that baby and his Mama than the actual father. She turned the corner and saw Koz sitting with Piney. He stood up and Gemma raised an eyebrow.

"Don't worry, he just had to take a leak. Milla's still resting and Juice is holding Little Clay." Gemma smiled at Koz and went to the window. He got one thing wrong Milla was wide awake and Juice was holding her hand. It looked so right that even though she wanted to hold that baby she'd let them have this for a bit longer.

"Thanks Koz." She said softly and Koz took a step back. She sounded dreamy, distant but happy. Koz never trusted Gemma when her voice held that quality. Just as she was getting ready to sit next to Koz, Keegan turned the corner and she turned on him. "What the fuck do you think you're doing? You were supposed to wait for me at the airport."

She advanced on him and Keegan held his ground. He was sick of her bullshit. Sick of catering to the whims of people that obviously hated him.

"Wait, why? So you could kidnap me? Make my wife think I don't care? Fuck you Gemma, fuck the lot o' ya. As soon as my wife and child are ready to go we're getting on a plane and heading back home. Away from you and away from Charming." Gemma's face turned white as rage coursed through her. How dare he insult her! Just as she was about to retaliate with a knee to the groin he smirked. "Whatever ya think yer doin', I'd think somethin else. You harm me in any way and I'll make sure Milla never leaves Ireland again and that is _my _son. Irish law would be on my side if you tried to take him away from me. Think about it Gemma, I hold the strings here."

With that he walked past Gemma who was in a rare state. She didn't think she'd ever been shocked to silence before but he did it. As she sat in the nearest seat Keegan brushed past Koz who went to the downed matriarch and Piney who seemed to sense the change in the game. As they checked on her Keegan walked through the doors, ready to reclaim his family.

…

Juice sat chatting with Milla about nothing really. He just wanted to spend this time with her. Soon her cardiologist would give her the go ahead then, knowing the bastard, Keegan would be taking them home. The thought was almost enough to shake him from his happiness but then Milla squeezed his hand and it was back.

"Hey, we lost you there for a minute." He smiled at her again and squeezed her hand.

"Nah, you'll never lose me...ever." She grinned before her attention was drawn to the door. There was Keegan and for a moment he looked livid until he saw the bundle in Juice's arms. Suddenly his face took on a look of awe and Milla gently removed her hand from Juice's.

"Keegan." Hearing her say his name broke him out of his trance and the last of the rage left his body. He crossed the room and, completely ignoring Juice, leaned down to kiss his wife. "I'm so glad you're here."

"I'm so sorry my love. I should've been here, for everyt'ing." She smiled at him sadly but leaned up and kissed him again while Juice stood behind Keegan. That was his cue, time to go back to reality where the child and woman in the room didn't belong to him.

"Can I have my son?" Keegan turned, all smiles and the usual animosity he harbored for Juice was absent.

"Be careful with his head." Juice instructed and Keegan merely nodded and gently took his son from Juice. He stared in awe at the bundle. How did something so small scare him so much? As he played with the little boy's fingers Juice put his hand on his shoulder and leaned in.

"Appreciate all that you have man. Don't forget that you're living another man's dream." He patted Keegan gently on the shoulder and walked out, looking back in time to see Keegan lean down to kiss Milla again while holding the baby. With a sigh Juice walked out and joined his brothers in the hallway. He was ready to go and get hammered but he had a feeling no amount of alcohol was going to wash this away. He'd had that taste of happiness, true blinding happiness and now he had to give it away to a man that didn't deserve it. Life was never going to be fair.

…

"Im so glad you're here." Milla said softly once Keegan's attention was drawn from his son. His son... He couldn't believe it. He was so happy that he could even forgive Juice's presence. The man kept his family safe, he could give him a pass for that. He'd still kill him if he ever got the chance but for now he'd let him go on.

"Nowhere else I'd be my love. I tried to get here sooner but there was that bloody bombing near the warehouse, they needed every man." Milla smiled. She knew the truth, he'd been on a bender. Fiona was more than happy to impart that information which meant he was on the outs with Jimmy at the moment...good, it meant he could spend time with his family.

"I still wanna say here for a bit. I'm working with this cardiologist here and he doesn't recommend travel. Not yet anyway." She looked at him and Keegan gave her a wide smile.

"I've no intention of going back 'til yer healthy lovely. Speaking of healthy, does he...his heart?" Keegan asked and Milla gave him a smile.

"No defect. I guess your Irish genes are made of some pretty strong stuff.." He laughed, happy that his son was healthy and his wife would be healthy. It was enough to push his fuck up into the back of his mind. Jimmy told Fiona that it was the bender that had pissed him off. In reality there was a woman in Tully that Jimmy had his eye on but she went for Keegan, went for him in a wild way and Jimmy, bugger him, was jealous. So it was a good thing they'd be staying for a while. Long enough for Jimmy to cool off and for Keegan to get his point across that this was _his _family and the Sons and their bitches had no place interfering. He leaned his head down and kissed his son, already in love with the little person.

"No love, it means we're a good team. You and me, together made this and that means we can do anyt'ing." Milla smiled and held out her hand while Keegan took it and brought it to his lips. Both unaware that they were being watched.

…

"I don't like this, he's too cocky." Gemma whispered to Clay who had a hard time suppressing a snarl. The boy thought he could throw his weight around without consequence? Clay would have to break him of that line of thinking, maybe do it with a bat.

"Give it time. While he's here he'll see how Milla and the moron fit and he'll slink away with his tail between his legs. He's still Jimmy's man so we can't kill him but we can persuade him. I'll send for Hap. He's good at persuadin." As soon as he said it he knew he wouldn't. Milla would never forgive him if he drove the Irishman off but he could fantasize.

"Let's start by showin' him he's on our turf. This is our hospital and that little boy in there shares your name. We have rights he can't touch." Gemma's face turned hard and Clay chuckled. Irish thought he'd cowed her but he'd just spurred her anger. Clay was going to enjoy the show.

"After you Mamabear." Gemma grinned a predatory grin and walked through the door, sitting on the bed and getting between Milla and Keegan while Clay gently lifted Little Clay from his father's arms. Phase one complete.

…

Across town Juice was getting a lap dance from one of the new girls but he couldn't enjoy it. She was too blonde, too tan and too damn tall. What he wanted was petite, pale and dark haired. He pushed the girl off his lap and walked to the bar, knowing that no amount of liquor, weed or, if he went back to it, pussy would shake him from this funk. A the bartender poured him a shot Chibs grabbed it and downed it while Juice signaled for another and Chibs downed that too.

"What the fuck man?" Juice asked and Chibs gave him a sad smile.

"I see what yer doin' lad and this isn't smart. No amount of liquor's goin' ta wash this away." He signaled for the bartender to leave them alone and he did.

"Listen Chibs." Juice started but Chibs put his hand up.

"I've been where yeh are Juicyboy. I've drunk myself into a stupor every night fer a year and buggered every bitch that crossed my path but it didn't change the fact that Fi's with Jimmy and he has my family." Juice felt like he'd been hit in the chest with a two by four. Chibs really did understand. Now it made total sense why the Scot was keeping such close tabs on him lately. "Way I see it is you have an opportunity I didn't. Milla loves you and has a chance to leave but why would she leave if she came back to a drunk smellin' like pussy. Sober up, get yer shit together and do what you can fer the Club. You have a chance ta be an officer. Wouldn't it be better fer Milla to have a man whose place is cemented in the Club, instead of a drunk. Do what ya need ta do Juicy but think about it. The choice is your so make the right one."

Chibs clapped him on the back and he stared at the bar for a solid minute before he stood and walked to his room. He could be an officer? He never imagined that. He knew they saw him as the idiot, the moron he never imagined that they took him seriously. That bit of information put everything in a new light. Chibs was right. Milla deserved an officer and Juice deserved a chance to prove his worth. As he took out his laptop and brought up different programs he had a new resolve, he had a reason to be better. He deserved to be an officer and Milla deserved better than he was.


	11. He Hears The Cry Of The Sedge

**I own nothing you recognize. All original characters and storylines are my own.**

This chapter is dedicated to my fabulous reviewers, **Superdani, Verda Napoli, Dutch'76, darkfairy03, and lederra**. You all inspire me so much and I try to put in little treats when I can for you. Thank you all so much!

_**He Hears The Cry Of The Sedge**_

_..._

_I WANDER by the edge_

_Of this desolate lake_

_Where wind cries in the sedge:_

_..._

_Until the axle break_

_That keeps the stars in their round,_

_And hands hurl in the deep_

_The banners of East and West,_

_And the girdle of light is unbound,_

_Your breast will not lie by the breast_

_Of your beloved in sleep. _

_..._

**Belfast**

"So ya named him Clarence? Oh after his grand da. I guess ya want him ta be a brute." Trinity laughed before she continued, "It's a good name Milla and I'm sure he'll be a handsome little devil. Yeah, of course I'll help, try ta keep me away. I gotta go, Ma's on a hell of a bender today. Miss you lots and hurry home we all miss ya."

Trinity hung up, still smiling. She'd had friends throughout her life, people she could confide in and do all the traditional friend things but she'd never had a friend like Milla. She was someone who never judged Trinny accepted her for her faults and all. She also never complained when she pulled Trinny's ass out of the fire. It was like she had a lot of experience with that. Shaking her head Trinity moved out to the front and saw Maureen dealing with a customer, once the customer left she turned to her daughter.

"How'd the chat go with the little _princess_." Her mother sneered and it caused Trinity to grit her teeth. When her Ma was face to face with Milla she was civil or even pleasant but once Milla was gone she went off on the poor girl. Making snide remarks and downright insulting her.

"Milla's fine, she had a boy. Named him Clarence after his grand da. They're gonna call him Clay. She's sendin me pictures to share with Fi and Kerri." Maureen scoffed. Bright life the boy would have being named after a murderer. Maureen took her flask out from under the counter and took a swig.

"Ya tell her to stay there. Not come back. It would be the best thing ya could do fer the girl. She has no place here. She doesn't belong." Maureen watched as her daughter picked up a box of wheatey bits and threw them at her head she barely managed to dodge it in time. "Wha' was that fer ya little slut?"

"Don't ya _dare _say she has no place here! She has a home an a husband and I bloody need her ta come back here. I don' know why ya hate her so much but she's been nothin but good ta me and ta you and she works her arse off in the store earnin you and the Club money. Ya know what I don' care. Hate her all ya want cause I love her an I can't wait fer her ta come _home_!" Trinity stomped off and Maureen actually found herself wishing that Milla really was there. She had a knack for stopping Trinny's outbursts. It made sense she'd been dealin' with her brother for years and if what she'd heard about the boy was correct her Trinny was just like him. Taking another swig from her flask she put it away and settled in for the rest of the shift since she knew her daughter wasn't comin back until she was good and ready.

…

**Charming**

Keegan sat at the dining room table nursing a cup of the sinfully strong coffee his mother-in-law was famous for making, luckily she'd prepped the pot before she went to bed so he just had to press a button. As he took tentative sips of the coffee he got lost in thought. He'd been in California for a week and was desperate to get back to Ireland, among people that respected him and actually wanted to be around him. As it stood he was in a den of vipers, or lions. Hell everyone but his wife seemed to be measuring him for a coffin or in that fella Tig's case an unmarked grave somewhere. He shuddered as he thought of the discussion the blue eyed psychotic had with him the day Milla got out of the hospital.

…

_Two days prior..._

Keegan was smiling as he loaded his wife in Gemma's Cadillac. She was in the front with her mother while he squeezed in the back with their son. He loved that little boy more than he'd ever loved anyone in his life and it was because of that little boy that he could put up with the looks and hushed conversations. Nothing else mattered but him. He looked in the rearview mirror and saw Milla looking at him, her eyes shining with love and he conceded. Maybe something else mattered just as much. They had pulled out of the parking lot and Keegan was surprised because they turned in the direction opposite of the hotel he was staying at, where he told Gemma he wanted his family.

"Where're we going?" He asked and Gemma gave him a smile, the smile he'd learned not to trust.

"My baby just got out of the hospital, she needs to rest and recuperate and that means going home . Don't worry the guys got all of your stuff from the hotel, we can't have you away from your wife now can we?" He narrowed his eyes but then calmed himself. She was just exercising what power she had especially considering that the doctor wanted Milla to spend at least two weeks recuperating. That meant that they couldn't leave Charming until they got the green light.

"Mom what's going on it looks like the whole charter's here?" Milla asked in a sleepy voice and Keegan frowned. The new medication would make her sleepy for a while, at least that's what the doctor said so the last thing she needed was to be overwhelmed by visitors.

"You'll see." She smiled lovingly at her daughter and Keegan's face darkened, she was up to something but that was hardly new, the woman was always up to something.

They were barely parked before the mohawked bastard came out and helped Milla out of the car, being sure to be extra gentle with her. Gemma came round the back but before she could do anything Keegan got out of the car, unbuckled his son and took the carseat out. She didn't even bother hiding her glare as Keegan smiled triumphantly and went up to his wife putting his hand to the small of her back and subtly edging out Juice. As they walked in the house Milla beamed at her assorted uncles and family as they flocked to her and she got a hug from the little girl who she missed terribly. He thought her name was Emma or Ella somethin like that. He wasn't sure which. He didn't miss the exchange between Milla and Juice as he tousled the hair of the little girl around Milla's waist and leaned in to kiss Milla's cheek. Keegan cursed himself, he never should have left his wife alone with him for so long.

"Keegan, we've gotta share the guest of honor." His anger ebbed a bit as he saw the love in her eyes aimed at him, that was something the tattooed git never got. That look was reserved for him. Smiling wide he set down the carseat and unbuckled little Clay and passed him gently to his mother. She leaned in and he kissed her before she moved away and was enveloped by a group of women and moved further into the room.

Later, after the initial fuss had died down Keegan was standing on the porch with a glass of Scotch Clay had seen fit to give him, smoking a fag. He needed this respite from the constant influx of people going to him and his wife and holding his son, Jesus that boy was going to be spoiled if they kept it up. As he sipped his drink he heard the sound of boots and he steeled himself. If Juice wanted a confrontation he was ready, he knew the perfect way to take down the Mohawked menace...just mention Milla and the man caved. Keegan's mouth hitched up in a smirk. He was married to the girl but you'd never see him fall all over himself for her. He was a man, she caved for him. With that thought he turned around and came face to face with an enigma. Bright blue eyes and wild hair made the man in front of him appear disconcerting and his voice held a nasal quality that grated on Keegan like nails on a chalk board. He was Clay's lap dog as much his man as Keegan was Jimmy's and that loyalty made him dangerous. Without speaking he leaned against the railing with Keegan and took out his own cigarette and began speaking.

"You know you're livin on borrowed time right mick?" He looked into Keegan's eyes while he tried to gauge if the man was messing with him or being completely sincere. "I just need the signal and bam."

He made his fingers into a pistol and mimed the shot.

"You're lucky I follow orders cause the second I saw you man...I knew you were gonna be trouble. Not just for the kid but for the Club. Now you're insultin Gemma threatenin' her place as that kid's grandma, threatenin Clay's rights. and that's just not right. You know it's not right but you still do it man." He took a drag of his cigarette and continued. "It's also cause of you that that little girl isn't home where she should be. Speaking of that little girl I see the way you're lookin at her now, barely containing your shit. I know how it is man sometimes they got lip but that don't mean you smack them down. I'm tellin you now, if I see one bruise on that pretty little girl...Let's just say that it's been a while since Hap and I put the boots to someone for that girl and I'm not against doin it again."

He took a drag of his fag and Keegan tried not to look like he was quaking but he knew this man, Tig, had to feel the vibrations. He took a few more drags while he looked at Keegan who was unable to speak as the walls of his throat seemed to stick together.

"I see you understand. Good, I'm goin back inside now but don't forget what I said...borrowed time..." He threw his fag down and crushed it with his boot before he walked inside while Keegan barely managed to make it to a seat. Shit, he put his head in his hands and tried to make sense of what just happened. He'd pissed off a crazy man...a homicidal crazy man and lived to tell about it, but how long...

….

_Back to present..._

Keegan shuddered again and resumed drinking his coffee. It looked like Happy wasn't the only one who wouldn't think twice about killing him. The blue-eyed git looked like he'd enjoy it too. As he sat there he heard movement behind him and turned to see Gemma walking to the kitchen.

"I see you made coffee. Want some breakfast?" She asked as she stood in the doorway and Keegan scoffed.

"No thank ya, I don't feel like havin cyanide in my eggs, it doesn't agree with me." He sipped the coffee and she smirked.

"I'm making Milla breakfast so I thought I'd just throw four eggs on insteada two." She turned but threw her head back toward him, "Besides I don't like cyanide, death happens too soon. I'm more likely to gut you and take your balls."

He saluted her with his cup while he heard drawers opening and closing and pans rattling. He took out his cell and saw some texts from Jimmy but before he could answer them all sounds stopped in the kitchen and Gemma came out, taking the seat across from him.

"Can I help ya?" He asked as he put his phone away and Gemma's face became stern.

"Milla will wake up any minute and I want this out of the way before she does." He raied his eyebrows, his horoscope said nothing about dying today, "I know how it's going to be. You hate us and we hate you but we all love Milla. It's because I love her and that little boy that I'm talking to you here. It's because of them that I'm willing to negotiate."

"Negotiate, what do you mean negotiate?" He set his coffee on the table and stared at her before she continued.

"You know what I'm gettin at Irish. Once you take them back to Ireland there'll be next to nothing we can do, especially when it comes to Little Clay. You're the type of person that will keep them away from us just to be spiteful and I'll be damned if that little boy goes through his life not knowing us. I can't negotiate for the Club but I can be persuasive. What do you want?" There was this determination glowing in her eyes that was almost frightening but he considered her offer. He did essentially have them over a barrel and he couldn't lie, the thought of keeping Milla away to hurt them did please him. He thought about it, she really couldn't do anything with the Club, even as Queen all the power rested with her husband but the Club was working well with them, better than it had in years, part of that reason was the desire to keep Milla safe and if he kept her away it could prove detrimental to all parties involved but Gemma didn't need to know that.

"I want a place set up here for me an' Milla when we visit. I don' like livin under yer roof, I'm never sure if I'm gonna wake up in the mornin. You pay for everyt'ing for us while we're here and if I want time with my wife you take Little Clay, no questions asked. Also, tell Clay, Jimmy will be callin' later, he's the one who negotiates for the cause. Also..." He leaned in and Gemma leaned back, not willing to be close to him, "I want a bit o' kindness from you an' the Sons. I especially want some deference from Juice Boy. He's far too familiar with my wife. I know they're friends but they could use some distance...don't you think?"

She set her jaw and glared. The fucker knew he had her but she could do it all, except for the last thing. Nothing short of death would keep Juice from Milla but she needed her grandbaby and would move heaven and earth for him.

"Deal." She leaned over and shook his hand. "Now do you want breakfast?"

"Two eggs overeasy with white toast and bacon." He smirked as she rose and walked into the kitchen before he picked up his coffee. Things were certainly looking up and he didn't even have to lift a finger.

…

"When are you going back?" Juice asked as he sat on the porch swing with Milla. He'd been told to cut down his visits and as hard as it was he'd done that. He understood why and while it just made him hate Keegan more he couldn't be the cause of Milla not coming back. So while Keegan met a contact in a pub near Lodi, Juice sat on the porch with Milla and Little Clay.

"Next week. The doctor gave the go ahead for travel and Little Clay's doing well so there's no reason we can't go home." She sighed, she already was home but she couldn't say that, her home was with her husband now.

"I'm sure you could stay here a couple more weeks, get even stronger then go back. The flight will be even less traumatizing for Little Clay that way." He gave her a small smile and she shook her head.

"I really would love to stay here Juice. I love being home but the sooner I get back the sooner I can get back into my routine, pull Trinny's ass out of whatever fire she's hurled herself into and get my son used to his new life. This is the best thing though I'm sure as hell going to miss you." She leaned over and kissed his cheek. "I spend so much time taking care of everyone else that I miss being taken care of and you take great care of me. I also miss having someone who understands me and I don't think anyone understands me as well as you do."

She smiled at him and that was it, he lost a long, hard fought battle with himself. Removing the distance between them he slid a hand under her hairline and without thinking brought his lips to hers. At first she didn't respond but soon her lips were soft and moved against his while he ran his thumb along her neck, behind her ear as she shuddered. Soon he felt her tongue gently nudge his lips and he opened his mouth for her as the kiss deepened. She was making these little noises deep in her throat and he miraculously managed to keep from doing something stupid. He moved even closer, wanting contact with her when a cry startled them apart. He'd forgotten Little Clay but luckily they didn't squeeze the little boy. He looked down at the bundle in Milla's arms then brought his eyes to hers. In a split second her eyes turned from lust filled orbs to shining with shame and she stood.

"He-he's hungry I've got-gotta go." She stuttered and ran back into the house. He could hear her crying and cursed himself. Now she was going to close in on herself, guilt would eat her up and that was his fault. Knowing there was nothing he could do there he walked to his bike and took off, hoping that she'd forgive herself enough to talk to him before she left. He needed her.

…

Gemma watched from her position in the living room as her grandson assisted in breaking up the kiss. She loved that little boy but he had horrible timing. Milla was really getting into it. She sighed as she watched her daughter break from the kiss and sighed again when she heard the door slam and the sound of sobbing. Shit, this wasn't good. With a glance out the window she saw Juice take off and had to give him respect for that move, he knew what was best for Milla. With one last look outside Gemma put out her cigarette and went to her daughter, eager to put out this fire and make sure a certain Irishman would never know what happened on the porch that afternoon. Milla was too damn honest for her own good and him knowing would ruin everything Gemma had fought for.


	12. Ephemera

**I own nothing you recognize. Only original characters and storylines are my own.**

_**Ephemera**_

_"Your eyes that once were never weary of mine_

_Are bowed in sorrow under pendulous lids,_

_Because our love is waning."_

…

_"That we are tired, for other loves await us;_

_Hate on and love through unrepining hours._

_Before us lies eternity; our souls_

_Are love, and a continual farewell."__**- **__W.B. Yeats_

_...  
><em>

**Charming**

Juice watched the croweater writhe around the pole and sighed. Tonight was supposed to be a good night, he'd been made an Officer in the Club. Intelligence Officer no less and he had to smile at the irony of him being made "Intelligence" Officer. His smile widened as he thought about the last six months.

He'd done a complete one eighty from the lovelorn sad sack he was before Chibs gave him the figurative kick in the ass. He'd needed the Scotsman's reassurances and it made him confident in his abilities. He still drank and smoked and fucked but he wasn't drowning his sorrows anymore, now he did that shit to party, not to drown out the need. Though that's not to say that he didn't feel the need. Ever since that day on Gemma's porch he felt the need so deeply that there were times he thought he'd be knocked on his ass. Those were the only times the drinking got out of control but all he'd need was an errand for the Club or a slap upside the head from Chibs and he'd snap out of it. He'd done such a good job that tonight was his reward, this party was just for him. The only thing he was missing was an Old Lady at his side.

…

**Belfast**

"About time you show up!" She glared at her husband as she dressed their six month old son into his traveling outfit. "We have to be to the airport in an hour!"

Keegan just waived her off and went into the bathroom for a slash. He knew that she'd packed all of their bags and had everything ready so why should he hurry? Besides she was the one who wanted to go, he was obligated.

"Donogh's in the car waitin for us. You don't need ta fuss." He leaned down and kissed his son's cheek while she continued to glare.

"He's going to be waiting longer. I didn't have time to pack your bag since you were gone this week so you either make do with your travel bag or you pack another." He stared at her in shock, she'd always had his bags ready for him, he'd never had to lift a finger before. "You're a big boy, you can pack your own shit."

With that remark she buckled their son into his carseat, slung a bag over her shoulder and walked out carrying his boy. He gaped after her before he took off to their bedroom and threw necessities into a bag. He scowled darkly as he zipped it up. If he were a Son she would have had his bag packed, by the door and been ready to blow him when he got home. With a curse he rolled the bag behind him, and went out to the car where Donogh was talking about something in that animated way of his while Milla just nodded along. Sometimes he loved that woman so much he couldn't breath but now wasn't one of those times. With a growl he walked the rest of the way to the car, threw his bag in the boot and climbed in the front. Jesus he didn't want to go, but there was no way in hell he was leaving her alone. He'd learned from his mistake.

…

**Charming**

The clubhouse was bustling with activity while Juice sat at his computer ignoring everything going on around him. He'd been tasked with working out the distribution details of their latest arms shipment so that's what he was doing, though he was letting Bri, his main croweater, get him brews. He'd discovered through several of his snitches that the True IRA were up to their old tricks again. Only this time they were splitting shipments between the Sons and a survivalist group in Canada. Since they kept the discount up and kept the shipments to the Sons prime stock there didn't seem to be a problem with this but he'd still have to bring it up to Clay, maybe they'd have to have another "talk" about loyalty with Keegan.

Juice chuckled and shook his head as he thought about the damage Hap inflicted all those months ago and how he'd wished it was him that had inflicted it, but at the same time he knew that Milla understood the enforcer beating her man to a pulp but she would never have understood if Juice had been the one to do it. With a wave to his girl he sat back and waited, smiling as she deposited herself in his lap with a bottle of Jack and a smile. She was petite and didn't go for the sky-high stilettos like the other girls did and her naturally black hair was untouched by dye. All in all she was a suitable replacement and she wasn't stupid either, he could actually talk to her. Smiling wide he pulled her mouth to his and kissed her deeply. That's how Milla found them when she walked in the door a few seconds later followed by Keegan.

…

Milla had just endured the trip from hell. She had a crying baby, a whining husband and horrific turbulence that caused her to be airsick but due to the fact she was breastfeeding she couldn't take Dramamine or any other pills so she had to endure it all. Then when her Mom showed up there were the glares exchanged between her husband and mother that attempted to be covert but they both failed. Milla was well versed in "Gemma-hate" so she had known since the beginning that her mother hated her husband. It would have almost been a relief to have them sniping at each other. As it was the barely contained disgust was giving her a migraine and she couldn't wait to get to the clubhouse and see her boys again. More importantly she'd see Juice again and the thought thrilled her.

Ever since their kiss six months ago Milla found it harder and harder to be content with her life. Keegan had grown distant only showing real love and affection for little Clay. They slept together regularly but it lacked the passion that it used to have and Keegan was constantly going to Tully. Milla wasn't an idiot, she knew that a woman waited for him there and she almost prayed every time he left that he'd stay. She still loved him but she couldn't ignore the fact that there was a man she loved more. A man whose kiss lit her on fire and touched her in places her husband's physical touch couldn't reach. He was the man she wanted and only her son and her damn Morrow pride kept her from taking a plane back to Charming and back to his arms every time she found herself loathing her husband. It was these thoughts running through her head which propelled her through the door and into the clubhouse, only to have her heart shattered as she saw Juice in the corner with a small, dark-haired woman on his lap. From the looks of it he was trying to eat her from the mouth down and she was loving it. Her eyes burned as the tears fought to come out but she stopped them. He wasn't betraying her, she held no claim to him so she had no right to be hurt, to hate him in that moment. But she did, she hated him and hated herself for pinning so much hope on him for the future. With determined strides she got her feet to move again and propelled herself at her Uncle Bobby, the only one in the clubhouse who seemed to notice her arrival. Once she was in his arms she could pretend the tears were happy and that's just what she was going to do.

…

Keegan noticed the fast clip his wife had taken as she approached the clubhouse. He knew she was excited to be home, but more than that he knew who she was eager to get to and it annoyed him to know end. At first he thought that she just had a little crush on the biker, just a simple attraction that would fade in time. That thought changed the first time he saw Juice holding his son. The three of them formed such a perfect looking family. The loving way he held Keegan's son was as much love for the mother as it was for the boy. The way he looked at Milla was perfectly mirrored in her eyes. She loved him and it had taken Keegan months to come to terms with it. If he were a good man, a selfless man he'd let her go and go to his own woman in Tully, his Annie with her coffee and cream skin and bright smile but he couldn't. Milla was his and he still had his mission, no matter how miserable they made each other he would stick to it, that's what made him a good soldier.

As he entered the clubhouse he felt a self-satisfied smirk stretch his face when he saw Juice in the corner, his tongue down the throat of a woman who would be a suitable substitute for Milla. He moved his eyes over to his wife and felt a sense of triumph, she was devastated, her fantasy world crumbled and she'd have to rely on him now. He changed his smirk to a smile as she hurled herself at the fat man who took her in his arms and cast a dark look at Keegan when her shoulders started to shake but he merely smiled and tilted his head toward the corner. The big man followed his head tilt and rolled his eyes before he clutched Milla tighter and led her to a table. Once she was seated with tears running down her cheeks he joined them and took their son out of his carrier. Seeing Little Clay was what Milla needed and she held out her arms as the little boy strained to get to her and Keegan complied, anything to show her where she belonged. He remained seated with his wife and leaned back grinning widely when the tattooed idiot realized the clubhouse had gotten quiet and disengaged himself from his girl. The look on his face when he noticed Milla was priceless and Keegan saluted him. He'd won this round.

…

There were times when Juice wasn't the most observant person. When he was drunk, when he was high, when he was caught up in a new program or when he had a hot woman in his lap. Now he had Bri in his lap with her hands on him and his tongue working against hers, he could be forgiven for being less than observant. The reasoning didn't stop him from being shocked as hell when he came up for air and saw Milla crying at a table with Bobby and Keegan saluting him. He'd fucked up and now he had to resist the urge to push Bri off his lap and rush to Milla. Milla...shit she was making an effort to look anywhere but at him and Keegan had lovingly taken her hand in his and was being romantic and she was just hurt enough to fall for it. As Bri started to run her hands over his chest he saw Keegan go for a kiss and Milla responded, it was the push he needed as he nudged Bri off his lap, he stood and was going to walk to her, to talk to her when Jax grabbed him by the elbow.

"You've done enough, take your girl back to the dorms and don't come out for the rest of the night." His voice took a commanding edge and Juice glared for a second before he complied. Sometimes Jax actually knew what his sister needed. With a nod he reached back and grabbed Bri before he pulled her with him and they skirted around the table. He did well and stopped himself from looking back until they got to the mouth of the hallway, then like Orpheus looking toward Eurydice he turned back to see Milla looking at him with a mix of hate and pain in her eyes and he felt like scum but instead of running to her like he wanted he pushed Bri into the hallway and followed behind, ready to drown this out in booze and pussy, old habits really are hard to break.

…

Later that night Keegan ran his fingers through Milla's hair as she took him in her mouth. He'd have to thank Juice for this, his little snog in the clubhouse had lit a fire under his wife that he was more than willing to take advantage of. It was the most passion they'd shared in months and if he could get her like this more often he'd have to take less trips to Tully. As beautiful as his Annie was she didn't have Milla's body or her fire. Once she'd gotten him sufficiently hard he pulled her up by her hair and kissed her, ignoring the taste of himself on her tongue. As much as he loved her ministrations he wanted in her and she wasn't going to refuse him. As he sank into her he concentrated on the feel of her, not the fact that her eyes were squeezed shut. If he did that he could continue this and get what he deserved.

…

The next day Clay sat in the chapel, looking over the documents Juice had given him. As President it was his call to pursue this or not and he didn't have a clue what to do. They were supposed to be exclusive, no other outfit was supposed to get the guns. Yet at the same time the shipments were so small and infrequent that they were hardly a blip and they were in _Canada_. Who the fuck cared if some Canadian survivalists needed hardware? With a sigh he knew that they had to do something with this, even something so small and insignificant would cause problems later on, it made them seem weak if they couldn't squash this. With the decision made he walked out of the chapel and located Tig.

"I'm calling Church. Have one of the guys go get my son-in-law, he has some shit to answer to." Tig grinned and went to find Juice. He could kill two birds with one stone here. They'd get Keegan brought to them and Juice could knock him down a few pegs, maybe even physically. He liked that idea.

He found Juice in the garage, working on a cherry looking Mustang and told him what was up. Instead of grinning that dopey grin that Tig, more often than not, wanted to beat off his face he simply nodded and went to the lockers where he removed his work shirt and put on his cut, then he was on his way. Disconcerted by the look on his brother's face Tig went back in the clubhouse to round up the rest, they had work to do.

…

Juice stood at the doorway of the house Gemma and Clay had fixed up so Milla would have a place to go to when she visited. It was a cute little house, two stories with fading yellow paint and a white trim. There was a carport attached but Juice knew that if the place was his he'd have a modified garage in the back, completely bike ready. With a shake of his head he hit the doorbell and waited for a few moments before the door opened and he was greeted by the sight of Milla in just a robe. His eyes went wide as he took in the curves her body had maintained from the pregnancy and the almost subtle growth to her breasts. The fact that he couldn't touch her, couldn't remove that robe and take her on the table behind her was torture. More than torture though was the look of annoyance and residual hurt on her face.

"What do you need Juice? If Mom sent you, call her and tell her I'll be to the house in about an hour. We still need to shower." She looked at him and he felt like flinching. The "we" was obvious, it meant that they were going to shower together and the thought sickened him. The only hands gliding over that body should be his.

"I'm here to get the Irishman, he has some explaining to do." Once he finished he noticed the fear in her eyes, the last time they needed to talk to him they almost killed him.

"I don't know what happened but please, please don't kill him." She took the collar of his cut in her hands and pleaded with him, fear for the father of her child clear in his eyes. "If you ever loved me, don't let them kill him."

She tugged harder and Juice wanted to crush her to him, tell her that he still loved her, that he would always love her, but now wasn't the time. He pried her off him and let go of her and it was one of the hardest things he'd ever done.

"It's just a talk, get your husband and stay here until Gemma comes to get you." His voice held a command to it, a tone she'd never heard from him before and it simultaneously turned her on and forced her to move her feet. Obeying that tone was in her DNA. She moved away from him and walked through the house finding Keegan in the bedroom where she left him, laying back and smoking a cigarette, still in post-coital bliss.

"You've gotta get dressed baby. Apparently something's up and they need to have a talk with you." Milla said as she approached the bed.

"Jesus Christ! I haven't done a damn thing! Fuck it all." He put out his cigarette in the ashtray on the nightstand and got out of bed, naked and angry about the interruption of the day he was planning. He had to smirk though when he noticed the glazed eyes his wife gave him. She may have loved the tattooed freak but she still admired his physique, yet another win for him. He finished getting dressed before he moved to her and tipped her head, kissing her deeply, "I'll be back, they love you too much to kill me outright."

He walked past her and Milla shook her head. Yes they loved her but the Club came first and if he betrayed the Club no amount of love would save him. Rather than dwelling on what could happen she went to the bathroom and stripped out of her robe. Maybe she could wash away some of her troubles.

…

Juice waited by the door, not wanting to go in and see the domestic bliss Milla was living in. He had enough to deal with when it came to her. Even so he couldn't stop the rage that bubbled up in him when Keegan came outside, smelling like sex and Milla's lilac bodyspray. He didn't even try to cover it up and the grin that he gave Juice proved that he knew full well what he smelled like and would enjoy giving Juice the little reminder that he'd been in Milla but Juice would never get there.

"Get in the van." He said brusquely and Keegan just grinned and walked to the van, completely unaffected by it all. Juice followed and silently counted to ten before he got in and soon enough they were off.

"I've gotta thank ya boyo." Keegan said with a grin as they turned onto the side street that led to the garage. "That little show you put on with the slag last night really lit a fire in my wife. We barely got through the door before she was on her knees."

Juice's knuckles turned white as he gripped the steering wheel. He wouldn't hit him, he wouldn't hit him...Juice kept repeating that mantra as they made their way to the lot that housed both T-M and the clubhouse.

"I mean, she's always tight and luscious but last night was like it was before the sprog. She couldn't get enough of my cock. It was li-" He didn't get to finish because Juice's fist shot out and glanced off his jaw with enough force to smack his head into the window, effectively knocking him out. With a self-satisfied smirk Juice pulled into the lot and was greeted by Clay and Tig.

"What did you do?" Clay practically shouted while Tig just smirked and gave his former Prospect a look of pride before he opened the door and pulled the unconscious mick out.

"He was mouthing off about screwing Milla so I shut him up." He didn't look ashamed or even apologetic and Clay had to smile. As long as the Irishman wasn't dead this was ok.

"Help get him to the chapel, then we'll see how far this goes." Juice just nodded and grabbed Keegan's feet before he moved into the clubhouse with Tig and the unconscious bane of his existence.

…

Twenty minutes and an application of smelling salts later Keegan was sitting at the Redwood, flanked by Juice and Tig. There was no way he was getting out of there so he decided for truth rather than subterfuge.

"This is about Canada isn't it?" He was well aware of the lucrative deal they'd made with the Canadian group. They were paying up to three times the worth of the weapons without even realizing it. Easy money that more than made up for SAMCRO's discount.

"Looks like they're trustin you with more Irish. Yes, this is about Canada. We were told the deal was exclusive and now we find out your splittin' the shipment? I thought we could trust you." Clay said and Keegan squared his shoulders, knowing he was in the right this time.

"Ya got it wrong Clay, yer the only ones we deliver to in America. Canada's a different beast. Ya'd have ta talk ta Jimmy or O'Flaherty or Logue...Don'tcha remember Clay I'm jus' an errand boy." He leaned back and Clay chuckled. He was right, Canada was a different beast.

"Get on the horn with Jimmy. I want to hear what he has to say. Once I talk to him you can go, Milla wants some family portraits done and I don't want my Queen pissed off." Clay took a drag of his stogy while Keegan nodded and took out his cell. He was happy that he wasn't dead, that was something he wouldn't put past the large and angry man.

…

Across town Milla sat in her parents' living room while her son was staring at his reflection in the mirror on the activity bar. He was so handsome and it was like he knew it. She hoped he grew out of that vanity, she didn't want him growing up like his father or her brother. She didn't want him using his looks like a weapon, or a way to get what he wanted. With a sigh she took a sip of her tea and stared at the little boy that she loved with all her heart. A little boy that, more and more often lately, she'd been wishing had caramel skin or a pronounced nose. With another sigh she set down her tea and felt tears prick her eyes. That's how Gemma found her five minutes later when she brought her own coffee and the photographer's brochure. If she timed it right they'd get mostly pictures of Milla and Little Clay and maybe one picture of the family as a whole. Even though she thought that was too much she didn't want to upset her daughter. As she looked up she had to stop in her tracks. She had never seen her daughter so dejected, so miserable and it tore at her. She never wanted her daughter to look like that. She just had to know if her boot belonged up a Puerto Rican ass or an Irish one.

"Here's the brochure baby." She almost winced as Milla jerked up but held her composure as she handed her daughter the brochure and set down her coffee. Once Milla was looking at it Gemma walked to the activity bar and picked up her grandson. She smiled as she cuddled him, six months was too long to be without her grandbaby and even though they had him last night it wasn't nearly enough. As he got older either Milla had to move home or they'd have to have summers with the boy. It was the only way Gemma'd make it.

"This looks good." Milla said as she set down the brochure and Gemma reached over and caressed her hair, not missing the look on her daughter's face.

"You're not happy, are you baby?" Gemma asked and that caused the dam to burst. As Milla cried Gemma held her grandson in one arm and her daughter to her shoulder with the other, determined to fix whatever this was, determined to fix her daughter.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>So sorry for the late update. I had some writer's block with this story and finally conquered it. Also I have so much going on right now since school starts next week and I'm on the "move-in team" which means I have to help all my fellow students with their computers and other stuff. Anyway, thank you all for reading and reviewing. You have no idea how much it means to me and I really appreciate it.


	13. The Second Coming

**I own nothing you recognize. All original characters and storylines are my own.**

_**THE SECOND COMING**_

_**...**_

_Turning and turning in the widening gyre_

_The falcon cannot hear the falconer;_

_Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;_

_Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,_

_The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere_

_The ceremony of innocence is drowned;_

_The best lack all conviction, while the worst_

_Are full of passionate intensity._

**Charming**

"Ma, he doesn't need a big party. He's just turning one." Milla said as she saw her mom put, yet another box of cutlery into the cart.

"Nonsense. He's my grandbaby and this is his big day." Milla snorted, Jax had gotten married three days earlier and her mom was putting more care and attention into this party than she had in the wedding.

"Keegan will be here tomorrow. To spend some time with us before the shipment." Milla said suddenly and Gemma sighed, she was enjoying this time with her daughter and grandson without the Irish prick. She was also enjoying seating Juice and Milla next to eachother at dinner and watching them dance around each other.

"Fine, I'll take little Clay tomorrow night and-" She abruptly stopped talking when she saw her daughter's face. "What is it baby?"

"I was actually hoping I could stay with you while he's here. Keegan and I..." She took a deep breath. "We're not on the same page right now. In fact, if I'm left alone with him and cutlery we may have a dead Irishman on our hands."

At that comment Gemma was ready to go to the kitchenware aisle and get her the biggest, meanest looking butcher's knife she could. Instead she looked at her daughter and saw the pain in her face.

"What happened baby?" She asked and Milla sighed.

"I don't want to talk about it here. Let's finish up then go to lunch with Lu and Little Clay. I have a feeling she won't give up my son without a fight." Milla picked up a package of balloons and put them in the cart before she walked ahead and Gemma watched her daughter with a frown on her face. Milla usually suffered in silence, but this time she was angry. Whatever the mick did, it was bad.

…

Juice stood outside the garage smoking his cigarette and glaring. Why did his bitch have to do this shit now? He finished his cigarette off and crushed it under his heel before he took another one out of his pack. She was getting too cocky, thought she had a voice with the Club, didn't know her place. This was why you didn't date civilians. With a groan of frustration he moved away from the wall, dusted off his hands and went to the clubhouse. Sure enough she was still there, sitting like she owned the place. What possessed him to claim her?

"So I told her that I'd only wear Hollister-" The look on Luann's face was pure revulsion as she held Little Clay and waited for Cherish to shut up.

"Juicy, thank god. Will you play with Little Clay for a bit? Gem and Mills are late." Juice grinned at the little boy who reached chubby little arms toward him. Without thinking Juice scooped the little boy out of her arms and blew a raspberry on his cheek before Luann dashed off, probably eager to get away from the annoying blond.

"You're really good with him. There's something sexy about a dangerous man with a baby." Cherish's voice lowered to the tone she used when she wanted to be sexy and Juice raised an eyebrow.

"It's easy when you love them. Besides I missed this little guy. He and his Mama are really important to me." At the brief mention of Milla he saw Cherish's smile turn to a grimace and mentally smirked. He may have been fucking her and dating her but she was well aware that she was a stop gap, a way to be less lonely. He was a man built for monogamy so going from slut to slut had gotten old fast.

"So, I was thinking. It's my friend Lisa's birthday tonight and she wants to go to Hard Candy. You up for some clubbing?" She asked and Juice grabbed a napkin from the table and wiped a bit of the drool from Little Clay's chin.

"Can't, family dinner tonight at Clay's. Gemma told me to be there. Don't know how long I'll be." He smiled as the little boy reached up to be cuddled and did just that. As he cuddled him he saw a look of determination settle in Cherish's eyes.

"That's fine, we'll go to dinner then go clubbing. The real party doesn't start until after eleven anyway." She grinned again and Juice felt a pressure build up behind his eyes.

"Uh, I was invited to dinner. I'm not sure Gemma will like me bringing a plus one." He was silently begging her to take the hint but she pressed on.

"It is a _family_ dinner isn't it? I'm practically family." She grinned brightly and he was about to tell her everything that was wrong with that sentence when the clubhouse door opened and Milla walked in followed by Gemma while a couple of the guys from the garage carried in bags of party stuff.

"Where's my little man?" Milla asked as she walked up to the table and picked up her son, giving Juice a wide smile. The last six months had been tough but they'd worked through her stupid jealousy and gotten back on firm footing again. He was back to being the perfect man in her eyes and she had never been anything less than perfect in his.

"He teething?" Juice asked and Milla nodded.

"Yep, I hope he wasn't too much trouble." She cuddled her son while Juice looked at them with poorly hidden adoration.

"He was perfect." Cherish piped up and Milla gave her a look that clearly said "you're still here?" before she turned her attention back to Juice.

"Coming to dinner tonight?" She asked and Juice nodded, willing Cherish not to speak and piss people off.

"We'll be there!" Cherish said excitedly as Milla shot her another look and Juice internally groaned. Why the fuck did he claim her?

…

Later that night Milla was in the kitchen with her mother, Lu and Donna as they worked on the dinner. Donna had been roped into it with promise of uninterrupted time with her best friend and unofficial godbaby. Time she never seemed to get anymore. Instead she was busting her ass as Fuhrer Gemma doled out the orders. Eventually she needed some fresh air and managed to drag Milla outside.

"You have two seconds to tell me what's wrong with you. You're putting up a good act but something's up." Milla looked at the door then back at her best friend and sighed. Donna was tenacious and wouldn't accept that she was fine, the only way to stop the stares was the truth.

"Keegan...he...he got his mistress pregnant. She wants him to move her to Belfast and he wants _me_ to just accept this shit. He said it was a hazard in his business. A fucking hazard! Jesus Christ, Donna, he might as well have slapped me in the face. I told him, in no uncertain terms that he can keep his whore but we can't be in the same city. I won't be disrespected like that." Donna took a deep breath, she had only wanted to kill one other person as much as she wanted to kill Keegan at that moment. She took another deep breath, looked at Milla then pulled her into her arms.

"What do you want to do?" She asked and Milla laughed in a way that sounded like a sob before she hugged Donna back.

"I want to give him and her the house, get full custody of Little Clay, move back home and build a life here for us. I want that more than I've ever wanted anything." She clutched Donna as Donna kissed the top of her head.

"What _are _you going to do?" Donna knew Milla well enough to know that she'd never actually do what she wanted, she always put everyone else first.

"If that little whore comes to Belfast I'll kill her, she will not flaunt herself in _my _fucking home!" Milla ground her teeth and pulled away from Donna.

"You know I'll support you no matter what, right?" Donna asked and Milla nodded before she used her hand to wipe off her face.

"I know and I love you for it. Let's go back, Ma and Lu are bound to wonder where we are and neither of us want Mom on the warpath." With a deep breath Milla walked into the house and Donna watched her friend. Why couldn't life ever work out for that girl? With a shake of her head she walked in behind her, ready to do the Queen's bidding once more.

…

"So I told her that Professor Johnson doesn't know his ass from a whole in the ground!" Cherish practically shouted before she devolved into obnoxiously high-pitched giggles which caused nearly everyone's eyebrows to raise and Tig to give Juice a look that said "are you serious?" Juice just cringed and tried to inch away from his woman. As he got a short distance away he looked across the table at Milla who was smiling sympathetically at him. She didn't hate him for Cherish, but he'd be damned if he didn't hate himself for bringing her with him.

"So, _Cherish_..." Milla's nose wrinkled in distaste. "What year are you?"

"I'm a Junior, only have a few classes left. I'm going to be a fashion designer, at least I will if I can finish my purchasing courses. What did you get your degree in?" Juice wanted to throw Cherish out on her ass when he saw the pain in Milla's eyes but Milla just gave herself a mental shake and pressed on.

"I got my degree in life. I got pregnant and got married. Someday I'm going to complete my degree but for now I focus on staying alive. Belfast is a dangerous place." Milla set down her fork and picked up her glass, so above everything that Juice couldn't help but grin.

"That sucks. I hope Juan doesn't get me pregnant just yet." At that Juice felt his heart squeeze in his chest. _Her_..._pregnant_? He'd shoot himself first.

"I don't think you have to worry about that darlin'. I doubt you'll be around that long." Milla said as she calmly sipped her drink. "Juice doesn't like being reminded of his _mistakes_."

…

_Three days later..._

Keegan stood on the deck of the boat as he watched the lads finish putting the drums on the pallets. He grinned as he thought about this day. He was finally going to right a wrong and take care of his biggest obstacle. He'd talked to Jimmy and gotten the go ahead. If he could get away with it he was welcome to try. So he paid off the lads and fooled with the equipment...

"Where's McKeavey?" Came a shout from below and he couldn't suppress a grin as he saw the mohawked bastard come down the deck.

"Not here! I'm in charge of this shipment!" Keegan shouted and Juice walked up the gangplank and looked at the barrels that were being loaded on the pallet.

"They ready to load?" Juice asked, not wanting to get into any non-business related discussions with the Irish bastard.

"Sure are, you stay and help monitor the loading, I'll have my men handle the unloading." Juice nodded and walked over to the pallet. Once it was in the air he watched the progress when suddenly one of the chains went slack and the drums toppled down. Juice yelled incoherently and dived, barely managing to avoid a drum to the head but wasn't unscathed when one of the barrels slammed into his chest. He heard a crack as his chest burned and the air was knocked out of him.

"You ok?" One of Keegan's men rushed over to him and he couldn't move, everything hurt. "Jaysus, Keegan, I think this boy's hurt."

"Hurt? He's still breathin'?" Keegan asked and walked over to see that, yes Juice was still alive. He was like a fucking cockroach.

"We need ta get him ta the hospital!" The man shouted as he rolled the drum off Juice who was finally breathing on his own.

"Bloody hell..." Keegan whispered as Juice's eyes settled on him and narrowed. He'd really fucked up this time.

…

**Belfast**

"Why'd ya call this meetin'?" Jimmy asked O'Flagherty as he sat at the council table while the older man silently glared.

"We just got a call from Charmin'. Your man tried to kill a Club Officer." He said it with such conviction that Jimmy knew he'd have to come up with something creative.

"Ya got proof?" He asked as he cursed the boy, "tried" was not the word he wanted in this situation. He told the boy only to go through with the deed if it could be done, not rely on chance. He expected a bullet or a knifing, something sure.

"They know the boy and his relationship with the Officer. No question in their mind." O' Flagherty looked maliciously pleased at the predicament Jimmy was in. His distaste for the man was well known.

"If there's no solid proof then there's no case against my man. We'll just bring him an' his family home." He said reasonably and O' Flagherty was about to speak before Father Ashby put up his hand.

"They require retribution Jimmy. Even without proof our arrangement is in jeopardy. We'll spare the boy's life but some recompense is required." There were nods at the table.

"Trade back the girl. Keegan's got another woman now; we'll get them a divorce and send her home. That should make everyone happy." There were a couple of nods at the table.

"Divorce is an affront to God Jimmy. Besides, the girl and her son will undoubtedly be useful in the future. We let them punish Keegan as they see fit, then bring him back. He will not be dealing with Charming again." This brought a mass of agreement from the table and Jimmy nodded. The boy decided to do this; he deserved the consequences of his actions.

"Done." He just hoped the boy survived his punishment.

…

**Charming**

Milla sat at a table in the Clubhouse and ignored the screams of pain that were coming from the chapel. They'd dragged Keegan in there an hour ago and the noises had started immediately. This time she wouldn't interfere, she'd heard their suspicions about how Juice had ended up with four broken ribs and if Keegan was responsible he needed to be taught a lesson. As she sat Koz came out of the room wiping off his hands and she turned away from the blood. She'd been happy at first that her surrogate big brother had come to Charming for her son's birthday but now she wished he hadn't, Keegan would have been in bad enough shape with Tig taking over.

"We're done in there kiddo. Chibs'll be taking care of his injuries. Go talk to Juice, then decide what to do because your man's never coming stateside again." Milla felt a sharp pain in her chest at his words. She had a choice she needed to make.

…

_Earlier..._

Keegan felt his insides turn to ice as they dragged him through the clubhouse. As soon as the Latino could speak and breathe again he'd called one of his brothers and they'd shown up _en masse_ with the van and loaded him in it. Keegan hadn't even tried to run. He knew they'd take that as a sign of guilt and he knew Clay would have already talked to the council. Even though he had Jimmy's permission Keegan knew that the council would never stand for what he did, they'd hand him over to the Sons. He knew they had no proof that he'd arranged anything but proof didn't matter, they knew he wanted the mohawked bastard dead and that was enough.

"Mi-" He tried to call to his wife before the large blond with the spiked hair put a hand over his mouth and twisted his arm painfully, the only positive of this situation was that the scary fella, Happy, wasn't there. Keegan was sure he never would've left the docks if that were the case. He was thrust into a chair by the blond and saw that the room was filled with Sons who were glaring murderously at him. He lost the ability to swallow as he saw Juice leaning against the wall his ribs taped. Standing with him were the President and VP who looked angrier than he'd ever seen them.

"You know why your here so I'll skip the questioning. You know what you did so I'll skip the accusations. More importantly the Real IRA knows what you did, unfortunately since we only have our guts to go on and no proof we can't kill ya. If we could I'd give Juicyboy here free reign, but he's been benched, so that means that we take care a ya. Tig, think you can work with Koz, just this once?" Keegan felt his bladder loose itself at the look in the blue-eyed psychopath's face.

"Just this once. Think you can work with me pussy?" He turned to the blond, who merely grinned.

"No problem man, as long as you let me get in a few face shots." The blond had taken off his gloves and had put on what looked like brass knuckles.

"Just leave the nose to me. I always thought he was too pretty." The men in the room grinned predatory grins then Keegan was lifted from the chair and thrown to the floor.

…

Juice watched as his brothers doled out a beating on his behalf. If it hadn't hurt to even breathe he would've joined them. He had to grin at the kicks Tig delivered to Keegan's groin and felt like cheering as Koz punched him multiple times in the face with the brass knuckles, feeling a sense of joy as bruises immediately marred the mick's face. Once the initial beating was done, Keegan was relatively unharmed so Clay opened it up for other brothers to go for it and Juice felt pride that these men wanted to right a wrong done to _him. _He knew it was mostly because of the patch on his back, but he also knew that these were his brothers and they cared about him. Once they were done he got a good look at Keegan, his face was a mass of blood and bruises, with two swollen eyes, an unrecognizable nose and both lips were split. Juice managed to get up and slowly limped to him as he held his injured midsection.

"You fucked up...you really should've killed me because now you're about to lose everything." He said quietly before he kicked Keegan square in the face. It felt good. Having Milla in his arms, finally his, would feel better.

…

_In Juice's dorm room later..._

Milla stood outside of his door for what felt like an eternity. She'd seen what they did to her husband, the damage they inflicted, and it made her feel sick, almost as sick as the thought of what they were saying he did. She couldn't believe that Keegan would try to kill a Club Officer, he wasn't that stupid, he wasn't suicidal.

"I know you're out there." Juice's voice said loudly and shook her from her thoughts.

She opened the door and felt her heart break as she saw Juice lying on the bed with his ribs taped and a bottle of tequila on the night stand. He looked over and for once didn't try to mask his love for her.

"How are you feeling?" She asked him and cursed herself as her voice caught.

"Sore and pissed off. We should've killed him. You know what he did." Milla felt tears prick her eyes. She didn't know anything, except that her husband was accused of something unforgivable and the man that she really loved was injured in something that could have been an accident.

"Do you have proof that he did it? Proof that this wasn't an accident?" As soon as she asked the question she felt her heart stop. Juice's eyes narrowed to slits as he looked at her.

"He hates me and wants me out of the way. That's all the proof you should need." He couldn't believe that she would ask that question, he couldn't believe she'd go this way.

"Juice I-I can't just blindly accept this. He's the father of my child, my husband...I can't just believe he's so devoid of honor. I can't just believe that I'd give myself to scum." She felt tears rolling down her cheeks and Juice turned to her.

"You can believe because it's what happened. How can you take his side?" Juice was at a loss, this was the woman he loved, the woman he'd die for and she didn't believe him.

"I need proof, before I destroy everything I need proof. I'm sorry, I love you Juice I know that you know I do but I can't just take my son away from his father. I can't just abandon everything because you _know_." Her tears came faster and Juice felt his heart break. She didn't believe, didn't want to believe and he couldn't be with her if she didn't trust in him.

"This is it then? You've made your choice and it's him. A part of me will always love you Milla, but now I can't even look at you. Go home, go to Belfast. I don't even want to think about you again." He turned away from her and she cried out in anguish. It really was the end; he'd never be her safety net again. She turned and ran to the bathroom just in time to throw up and didn't stop until her stomach was empty. All of her dreams were dead and she wished she was.

…

_Later that day..._

_ "You have to choose babygirl, stand by your man or the Club. The choice is yours." _

Her mother's words rang in her ears as she held her son in the airport. She'd been exiled along with Keegan. She'd made her choice but they didn't understand why she made it. It wasn't love or loyalty that made her take Keegan's hand. It was fear, fear for her child, fear for her future.

_"You leave me and you'll never see Clarence again. I'll get custody and you'll be labeled a kidnapper. You think we can't work with the Peelers when it benefits us? The choice is yours. Come home with me or lose everyt'ing."_

She cuddled Little Clay close as she watched the planes come in. Her life as she knew it was over, but she'd survive. Her Morrow blood made it impossible to do anything else.

**Author's Note**: This is the end of _Brath_. I know it's over so soon but that's just so I can continue with my next story that will continue the story into seasons one and two of the show. Sorry to leave it on such a downer but this felt like a fitting conclusion to this portion of the story.

Thank you, as always, for reading and reviewing.


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